….Now What?

Something major has just happened in your life. Life-altering, dare I say an Earth-shattering change has been made and your world just became uprooted from underneath you. There are days when you don’t know when you’re coming or going; days when you don’t know left from right; days when you don’t even want to get out of bed, but you do because you have to move forward. You can’t go backwards because life doesn’t function like that. If life functioned in that capacity, your world wouldn’t have crumbled, right?

Minutes, hours, days pass. Your body is going through a roller coaster of emotions. Some days you can make it through the day without crying and others you have to drown your eyes in eyedrops to keep the redness from your coworkers.

Right now, life sucks.

And then one day, you wake up, and that day is not as bad as the day before. You realize that you can move forward and things start to be ok. You don’t hate yourself as much; you don’t blame yourself for ruining your life. You realize that life happens, and you have to move with the way life is moving.

Minutes, hours, days pass. You start to move on. You start to realize that life can get better in time. You start to understand that time does heal all things. But then, another question haunts your brain:

Now what?

You’ve lived your life a certain way for so long, and now that has changed drastically; now what?

You’ve held a role in someone’s life for so long, and now those responsbilities are gone; now what?

You have dedicated your life to someone or something, and now that person or thing no longer serves the same purpose; now what?

You have made a major change to an aspect of your life for the better, in which you no longer have to deal with some old habits or issues and a weight feels lifted; now what?

What do you do with that part of your life now that there is a big gaping hole there? No matter how good or bad, when a drastic change happens, you have to adjust; and that adjustment can come with an unsettling feeling.

How do you fill the space?

How do you spend the time?

How do you find your purpose again?

What do you tell people? And should you even care what they think?

How do you start doing for SELF?

I think when you find yourself immersed in a role that causes you to be obligated to responsibilities of another person, place or thing, you often lose yourself. You lose your wants, needs and desires while fulfilling your duties in that role. So when you no longer have that piece of your life, it’s frightening to even think about a life without that piece of your puzzle. You have no idea what to do or how to manage the additional time that you have to yourself. You wonder what people will think or what assumptions they will make; or if they will question whether you made the right or wrong decisions. You may even have some negative thoughts about yourself and how you’ve come to your decision. All of this is a part of life. It’s a part of the growth we endure as adults adapting and adjusting to life changes.

Despite what we may think, what goals we have, what promises we make, life never pans out the way you imagine. The path you see for yourself is never the path you end up taking. Sometimes you end up where you want (with just a detour along the way), and sometimes you end up on a totally different journey; one you didn’t expect. The point is, no one knows for certain how their life is going to go. The only thing we do know is how we can control our response and reaction to change.

Sometimes the changes that happen are good; sometimes they’re bad. Sometimes they are planned and sometimes unexpected. The most important thing to remember is despite any emotion you feel in regard to it, is that time does heal everything. In time, the smoke will settle and the dust will clear. While you may feel lost and confused at first, clarity will come forth and lend itself to you, and you will be able to find your footing in life on a new path. And it won’t always be easy, but the most crucial point is that moving forward is necessary. The world keeps on turning, and you have to be prepared to adjust.