Photo Cred: askmen.com
I was listening to the radio one morning and an awesome topic was being discussed. I couldnt wait to get to my computer to post my two cents about it lol!
So, picture it.
You’re calling up your closest girlfriend or guy friend to hang out one night; nothing too fancy, just a night out with old friends. It’s probably something that isn’t as easy to do or a common event in your new adult life (what with having a full time job, bills and who knows how many other respinsibilites). Anywho, you are ready to hang out with your bestie and you are sure it will be the best night out in a while. When your friend shows up, they bring their spouse along for the outing. You know their spouse, but not well enough to let your hair down and let your true colors show. So now, it’s gotten really awkward….
What do you do?!?!
Usually, for the better part of the evening you swallow whatever gripe you have and make the most of the evening. But soon enough, what was supposed to be you and your best friend hanging out and having a great time, turns into you becoming the third wheel to an outing YOU planned! How does that happen?!
A lot of people find themselves on either one of the sides of this scenario. You have either been:
1. The friend who has unexpectedly become the awkward third wheel
2. The friend who is still in the “I want to do everything as a couple” phase of their relationship; or
3. The significant other who was brought along for the evening.
Now, during the debate on the radio, it was definitely a unanimous decision that this was uncool and a completely awkward position to be in. No one wants to plan a girls’ night or guys’ night, and then your spouse/fiance/bae shows up. It’s a buzz kill and no one is feelin’ that! There were several callers who said so many different things that I agreed with, but the number 1 question was: how do you confront your friend about it??
When I listened in, I heard answers ranging from not planning anymore outings with that friend, confronting her right then and there, or letting it ride; and next time giving him/her that it’s no girls or boys allowed next time. If I was in this position, I would use the third approach most likely. I’m not one to cause a scene, especially with the significant other sitting right there (it would possibly make them feel twice as awkward as they already do lol). I would play it off real cool, but next time remember to let my friend know that I just want it to be girl time, no guys allowed. I think that approach is the safest, and possibly won’t offend or make your friend feel bad if that’s not your intention.
There was also a perspective brought into the convo that I didn’t think about initially. It could be a situation where there are some insecurities, and the significant other is forcing their way into the outings because they either dont lile that friend, or dont trust their spouse to be out without them. If that’s the case, there are some deep issues that really need to be explored. If you are completely comfortable in your relationship, a guys’ or girls’ night should do nothing to shake the stability of your marriage. If it does, then you may need to re-evaluate who you are with and the level of trust in your relationship.
Needless to say, the conversation was very interesting and I’m glad I caught it while I was on my way to work. No one wants to feel like a third wheel when they were the ones who made the plans, so be mindful of that when your friends makes plans with you to have a good time. Sometimes it’s ok to tell your spouse that there’s no girls/guys allowed. Truth be told, it may be good to have that “me” time every once in a while!