Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

With the springtime in full swing, it’s not uncommon for you to get the feeling to want to do.a cleanse of sorts through your life. Some people clean their homes, while others may focus more on their personal lifestyles and determine what needs to be flushed out and what does not. Starting the spring season by getting rid of any toxic of negative relationships is one of the great ways to start the season, and a way to make room for new positive relationships.

If you currently are dealing with someone or several people that do not bring any positive benefits to your life, who constantly bring your mood down, or who don’t mean any good to you or are always negative; it may be time to release them from your life at the inception of this new season.  There is no reason to bring that type energy into your Spring and Summer 2018 if you do not have to.  It may be time to make a clean break from those who are not in your life with the intention to bring you any joy or happiness.  This even includes some of your closest relationships; such as family and significant others.

Oftentimes, we hold on to what we believe are our most important relationships because of their title or their hierarchy in our lives.  In all actuality, even some of the closest people to you may only be meant to last in life for a specific period of time before it is time to cleanse yourself of them.

So, before the spring comes in full force, will you be taking a hard look at your relationships and determining who stays and who goes?


Self Love is Always Your True First Love

A lot of times, there are lessons that I feel cannot or will not apply to me, even being five years into my marriage; however, 2017 put me in a place where I was struggling with loving myself more than I ever was before.  In turn, that put a big strain on parts of my own marriage.  I am not ashamed of it; in fact, I think all emotions, whether good or bad are natural and human.  No one goes through life feeling perfectly happy all the time.  No one can go through life knowing exactly how to navigate their emotions all the time, no matter what stage of life they are in.  And just as I say that, I can say that even with a man that loves me endlessly, I still struggled at times with receiving that love, because there were things about me that I could not stand.
There were several points in my life last year that I had to definitely lean on the quotes I referenced above, and learn to dig deep down and find the things that I loved and enjoyed about myself, focused solely on those things in order to pull myself out of the depression that I was feeling about not truly loving myself.
Self-love is also something that is not just mental or emotional, it is also physical and tangible.  Sometimes it takes more than just praying, meditating or speaking positive thoughts to yourself.  Sometimes you have to dress yourself up, take yourself out on dates, treat yourself to a gift that’s long been overdue, do something that is completely “selfish” in society’s eyes.  Some people may think this is a self-centered concept; however, what it really is, is showing how much you value yourself, even when no one else does.  When the right person sees your appreciating your worth, they will make sure they put forth the effort to make sure they show their appreciation for you as well.
I believe that we take for granted the one person that we all should be falling in love with first, because we are so busy putting our efforts into someone else, when really, that person should be ourselves.  Once we realize that the truth to finding real love is rooted in falling in love with who we are, the possibilities will be endless.

Maximizing Quality Time with Quality People

In the hustle and bustle of life’s journey, we oftentimes get caught up with missing out on spending quality time with the ones we love.  One of the things that allows me to maintain a decent level of sanity, is being able to decompress, vent, laugh, cry or just spend time with my family and close friends.  They are something like a form of therapy for me; sometimes when my job, or other aspects of life are beating me down, there’s nothing more I’d rather do than spend time with some of the VIP’s of my life.
Some of us find this difficult, because with all of our responsibilities pulling at you, how do you find the time to fit this into everything else going on?  Well, I’ve always been a firm believer in making time for what you want out of life.  If you want to spend time with people, you have to commit to it, and make the time.  You also have to maximize the time you have and make sure it’s worth every minute.
How can you maximize your time with the people you care most about?  Here’s a couple of ways I have found you can make the most out of the time you have, with the people you love.
Silence your phone. Putting your phone on Do No Disturb (or only answering it for certain people in case of emergency) is a good way to maximize the time you spend with the people you love the most.  Nothing is worse than spending all of your time on your phone when you’re supposed to be having fun.  The most use your phone should get is to capture all the selfies and memories of your good time.  Do yourself a favor and unplug from the phone and focus on that human interaction.
Plan things together. Taking the time to plan things with those that you care about is a good way to maximize your quality time.  It also shows that you care enough to put things together and make the time with that person special.
Focus on the positive; put a cap on negative energy.  I know we all have that one person that we completely unload on when we are having a bad day.  They are the person who will allow you to vent with no judgement and let you get all of your emotions out.  One thing you want to keep in mind though, is that you don’t want that to take up all of your time with that person.  Take a vow to only spend at least 5 minutes of your time with that person venting and releasing that negative energy.  After that, release it, and focus on more positive things.  Do not allow negative forces to take over the time you are supposed to be spending with your friends and family.
The key in all of these things is to ensure that your intentions are well communicated and received.  If you’re looking to spend time with those you love, make sure you make the effort to make that happen and make the time mean something to you.  Not only will you find peace and happiness for yourself, but the person you are spending that time with will appreciate you much more for making the effort to make that time as meaningful as possible!

Live, Laugh, Love; Repeat

Oftentimes, adults get so caught up with our responsibilities, that we forget one of the simplest things to do; laugh.  If you ask me, laughter is one of the simplest and rarest forms of enjoying life.

I’ve been known to bring laughter into any situation.  It’s just in my nautre.  I am someone who is known to be serious, but also knows that laughter is good for the soul.   Sometimes, in tense moments i like to make the situation better by allowing laughter to come in to the atmosphere.

I try to live life looking for the silver lining. I know sometimes that can be very difficult, but I feel like positivity and smiles can go a long way for some people. Even on my worst days, a good laugh can bring me out of the darkest times in my life. I thank God for the people he placed in my life, because that is one of the qualities I love about them; they make me laugh and thoroughly enjoy my life.

A Lesson Learned

What do you take from the experiences life brings you? Do you take them as what they are and move on, or do you search for the lesson in those experiences?

Life is full of countless lessons; some come from good experiences and some come from bad. I’d like to believe that a lot of my best lessons, came from my worst mistakes and experiences in life. I will be the first to admit that as simple as my life may seem, I’ve done some pretty crazy things (lol). Throughout those many experiences; whether it was throughout my childhood or my adult life, I’ve learned valuable lessons about life, love, happiness, family, etc. that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

For me, it’s also important to note whom I owe the pleasure of learning these valuable lessons from. I have to credit my support system for teaching me so many things in my life, and still teaching me things as I journey through marriage, motherhood, and life in general, because there is always something happening or mistakes being made that cause me to learn something new to take with me on this journey. Between my mother teaching me about life, my husband teaching me how to love, and even my daughter teaching me nurturing and compassion, there’s never a moment in my life where meaningful lessons are not being taught.

Sometimes, life’s greatest and worst experiences may bring out some of the most trying struggles and difficulties of life; but the lessons that come out of those experiences is what makes you better and stronger than you ever had been before ❤️.

“Life perfect ain’t perfect,

If you don’t know what the struggle’s for.

Falling down ain’t falling down,

If you don’t cry whenyou hit the floor.

I’m getting past,

And I ain’t nothing like I was before,

You ought to se me now.

Yes Iwas burned, but I called it a lesson learned.”

-Alicia Keys, Lesson Learned

Good Friends or Bad Friends; Which One are You?

So, im still on my #50Days50Questions journey, and I came across a question that I felt compelled to discuss, since it has become somewhat of a hot topic in my life currently. Here is the question.

Am I a good friend? How so or not so?

I could be lying to myself; however, I feel like I am a very good friend. I feel this way mainly because being a good friend is something I take pride in. I am by no means perfect, and I’ve made some of the worst mistakes in some of the most important friendships; however, I’ve been blessed enough to continue to have them and I’ve learned valuable lessons from them. I learn so much from each person I call a friend, and I do my very best to treat them as they deserve to be treated.

Throughout my life, I’ve made many connections with people; some have been for the short-term, and others have been for the long haul. Most of the people I consider good friends I believe have the mutual feeling about me as well (at least I hope so lol). First, I’ll tell you what I feel constitutes a good friend:

  1. Honesty: I feel like this is a no-brainer. I mean, if you can’t be honest with someone, why be their friend? I’d much rather you be truthful and honest with me, than to lead me on in thinking one thing when it turns out to be another.
  2. Genuine concern: I believe another good trait to have in the “good friend” column is to always have genuine concern for those you call friends. I know sometimes I can seem a little annoying, but I love checking in on my loved ones and friends, especially when I know they aren’t going 100%. It’s partially a way that I show I’m there for them if they need me. I’m always down like four flats!
  3. A big heart: Having a big heart is also a sign of a great friend in my book; and it also is a sign of someone I know will have my back no matter what. I know a few people who may have the biggest hearts in the world; luckily, I’m glad to call them my best friends ❤️.

Now, with every positive aspect of life comes negativity in some regard; and there will always be disadvantages to being such a good friend to people and being perceived as such. I recently encountered a situation personally, that made a couple people tell me that I was being too good of a friend, based on how I was being treated; and that happens sometimes. It definitely made me reflect on how much I give to the ones I love and those who I consider some of my best friends.  I know I can give my hearts to them because in a reverse situation, they would do the same for me; and that’s something that’s important to me.  But, it also made me question if I was in fact TOO giving to those who I felt I was being a great friend to, who weren’t turning out to be so great to me..that was definitely a food for thought situation for me.

That situation taught me a valuable  lesson.  I had to finally tell myself that sometimes I do try to be a good friend to those who are not as good  to me, and sometimes those are  the people who don’t deserve some of the special treatment.  I’m not saying you have to be a complete bitch; however, you also  don’t have  to go completely out of your  way for someone  who is not showing their  appreciation, or not even acknowledging you in the first place.

I say all this to say  that I do feel like I am a good friend, but also I urge all of you who take the time to read this to look within yourselves to ask yourself  if YOU feel you are a good friend and if so, ask yourself the following:

  • What makes you a good friend?
  • If you answer no,  what can you do to become a better friend to your friends in question?
  • If you answer yes, do you feel you are being taken advantage of  as a good friend, and if so, how do you plan on addressing that with that person who’s  taking advantage of you; and could it be  time to re-evaluate that friendship?

Self-Care Sunday Highlight: Lets Get Away…

This week’s highlight is dedicated to something I absolutely LOVE doing: Vacationing!

At some point, we all need a break; whether it be a stay-cation, a trip with a special someone, a boys/girls trip or a family vacation; everyone needs time to escape reality sometimes. That’s why taking a vacation is so important to your self-care.

Taking vacations allows you to get a couple of days away from the factors of life that are causing you the most stress. There’s nothing like getting away and clearing your mind so you can hit the “restart” button. You can get some much needed rest, you can relax and not worry about what’s going on at home for a little while and sometimes, that is the best feeling.

This summer I wasn’t able to take many vacations, which is what I like to do, but I am definitely an advocate for it and I plan on taking a few in the fall! I love going on trips and I take full advantage of them when I got. I don’t talk about work, or things that are bothering me; I just spend those precious moments laughing and having timeless fun.

This week, if you’re able, schedule yourself a vacation, or look up somewhere you’ve wanted to go and start planning a vacation. They are well-deserved and much needed! Plan a trip and focus all of your attention on having fun and forgetting about all of your troubles (at least for a couple of days).