Recently, I had a sort of epiphany about life, and I feel like it’s going to change my quality of life in an amazing way. I have come to realize that it is ok to tell someone you are unhappy; because happiness isn’t constant. Once I adopted that mantra into my daily living, I have been so much more comfortable in my emotional well-being. Knowing that I can accept the fact that I will always not have to be happy, and no one is REQUIRING me to do so, makes life so much easier.
I used to fight with myself on why I wasn’t happy everyday, and how I should and need to be because of all the good things happening in my life. Well, in my #BoutToBe30’s, I realize that I do not and will not be happy with my life all the time, and on some level, that’s cool. Walk with me while I explain:
I feel like if you are constantly expressing how much joy and happiness you have oozing out of your ears every minute of the day, then kudos to you, girl! Me on the other hand, I’d probably go bananas. Granted, I have a partner in crime that is rolling through life’s punches with me, we’ve managed to create and cultivate and mini-us (which I believe is the spitting image of both of us in looks and personality) and are doing quite nicely so far, I have a good job, I’m getting very healthy and a great circle of family and friends….HOWEVER, sometimes, either one or all of these things make me unhappy on one occassion or another. For example,
- #HusbandBae has the innate ability to irk my nerve
- #KC tends to whine uncontrollably for some ungodly reason or another
- My job can test every limit of my sanity
- Family members tend to be….a bit much…lol
- Sometimes, I’m fat. And I hate it.
All of these things make me unhappy sometimes, despite them being some of the greatest things to happen in someone’s life; even things that people dream of having, they still have the ability to make you upset and unhappy for a day or 2. I used to feel like I had to walk around and just be “happy-go-lucky-woman” all the time, who never get upset or unhappy over anything. I can’t live like that. I had gotten to a place where I never wanted to discuss my unhappiness. Everyone would tell me that I had no reason to be unhappy or to sulk in my unhappiness because of all the blessings around me. I get that, but everything in life has 2 sides.
I’ve come to realize that life is about happy and unhappy times. There is nothing wrong with being upset and that showing. There is no crime in me saying “I’m just not feeling it today.” I used to think just being in a “blah” mood about life was wrong and it wasn’t allowed, but given the circumstances of my life, I have every right to not be happy all day if I wanted to. Am I grateful for living? Of course and I pray that I never get to a point in life that I am unhappy with living (and I also pray for peace for those who struggle with that daily); however, I also feel that it is human to be upset about things, and realize that sometimes it helps me to remember the healthy emotional balance in my life.
Like I said before, “Happiness Isn’t Constant”, and that is ok with me.