Recently, I had a sort of epiphany about life, and I feel like it’s going to change my quality of life in an amazing way.  I have come to realize that it is ok to tell someone you are unhappy; because happiness isn’t constant.  Once I adopted that mantra into my daily living, I have been so much more comfortable in my emotional well-being.  Knowing that I can accept the fact that I will always not have to be happy, and no one is REQUIRING me to do so, makes life so much easier.

I used to fight with myself on why I wasn’t happy everyday, and how I should and need to be because of all the good things happening in my life. Well, in my #BoutToBe30’s, I realize that I do not and will not be happy with my life all the time, and on some level, that’s cool. Walk with me while I explain:

Another night, lying in bed, searching the ceiling for an answer it didn’t have.  Another night of talking to herself, asking questions with no answer.  Another night of empty and idle thoughts.  She wondered how perfection felt; wondered what joy was and if happiness ever existed.  She looked over her bed and found him lying there, sleep taking over and rendering him lifeless for the night hours  He slept, while she suffered, and she felt so helpless.

Her words were never understood, her opinion deemed insignificant; her desires weren’t acceptable.  She tried countless times to just let well enough alone, but well enough wasn’t what she felt she deserved.  She wanted a love that went above and beyond, one she could lay her life on the line for,  one that she could sacrifice herself to be apart of something bigger.  She couldn’t see that with him.