While I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Friend Zone, I heard a really deep question that had to make me think for a while today. The topic of discussion was around loyalty and this question really resonated with me on many levels. I decided to gather my thoughts and write my own personal response to the question, and pose it to all of you to get your insight on how you feel about the topic as well.
The question was as follows:
How many times have you been loyal to a person when you felt that person was undeserving of your loyalty?
After a pretty lengthy analysis of self, I came up with an answer I was not surprised about; too many! I am the type of person that will give a person chance after chance after them showing me that they do not value my loyalty or selflessness on their behalf. Naturally, by now I’m sure you have asked yourself this question, and if your answer was anywhere near mine, the next question would be a simple “why?”! Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself and here is sort of what I came up with about myself.
I’m a person who loves hard, and will stand by a person no matter what. I try to go above and beyond for my friends and family, and sometimes that may not always be in the best interest of self. Sometimes I find myself in a predicament that leaves me wondering how many times I will allow someone to take advantage of me, but also wondering how can I not be there for that person because their family, or a good friend or a good person, etc. Pretty tough place to be in sometimes; and if you’re like me, you don’t know which way is the right way to get out.
There are times in life where you could call me the poster child for optimism. When I talk to my friends and family and they are telling me how some things just aren’t going well for them, I always try to look for the silver lining to make them feel better. That’s always been my sort of role with people close to me, I try to keep them uplifted and do what’s right by them. The disadvantage to having such a great quality is most of the time, even when someone is showing me their most negative qualities, I somehow still try to find a way to justify why I still keep them in my life. It wasn’t until I heard this question today that I realized that I was stuck in a vicious cycle of allowing people to get too many chances to take advantage of my loyalty; and that’s just not cool.
The good thing is, with everything in life, there is room for growth and improvement. After hearing this question today, it made me realize that I have to preserve myself, in order to give my best to others. By that, I mean I cannot continue to allow negative people to drain me mentally and emotionally, to the point where I have nothing to give to the people who deserve all of me and my loyalty. It’s such a simple concept; if you do right by me, you’ve got a friend for life. One of the quotes I got off the show yesterday was “the more selfish you are, the more selfless you can be.” So, I think I’m going to start looking out for #1 a little bit more, and save that selflessness for the most deserving of my peoples.
Let me know your thoughts on this question. Are there people in your life that you’re being loyal to that possibly do not deserve it? Let me know and let’s talk about it!!
P.S: Here are some different places you can check out The Friend Zone! I have subscribed on iTunes and I never miss a show! Shoutout to Fran, Assante and Dustin for always making me laugh, think and upping my level of knowledge on my mental health and wellness!! #Salute