If you're a fan of Insecure, then you were tuned into episode 2 this past Sunday night. In that episode, you see Molly begin to open up more to her therapist, and she starts to list all of the things that "should" be happening in her life.
When Dr. Pine realizes this, she immediately clues Molly into how she associates a lot of the things in her life with the word "should", as if she is not quite satisfied with how the reality of her life is shaping out to be.
The doctor uses the term "magical thinking" to describe this particular situation. Needless to say, the greater majority of the Insecure fan base SHOOK. I personally was triggered by the notion of magical thinking, and hadn't realized how much I apply magical thinking to my life.
The term magical thinking means (as I paraphrase it) believing what our life and our desires should look like, as opposed to accepting the reality of what is. Once Dr. Pine clued Molly into that, it was like a rude awakening to my spirit.
How many times do you speak about your life, and reference the things that should be happening, instead of embracing what is happening in the present? How do we begin to reframe our conversations about our lives in a way to show that we are accepting of what life is or may be for us, instead of constantly living in the mentality of grasping at what we think it should look like? Here are a few ways I thought of:
- Have Patience: life is all about being patient and waiting for the right things to come to you. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and in its own time, so having patience can help with taming your magical thinking.
- Do not punish yourself for what you don't have: No one should be ashamed for the things you may not have in life. It goes back to patience; sometimes, it may not be your time to have the things you feel you should have in life, but it doesn't mean you're not deserving and that it will not ever happen.
- Enjoy Life Everyday: this is possibly the simplest of tasks; just enjoy everyday you are blessed to wake up. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we feel we should or should not have that we forget to enjoy the fact that we're alive and well.
So, now that I know I've been guilty of living all in my magical thoughts, I will take these tips and try and learn to accept my shoulds for what they are, and if the desires of my heart choose to manifest themselves in my life, that will be icing on the cake!