My 2019 Message

One thing I’ve reflected on heavily in the beginning days of 2019 has been the aspect of regret, and missed opportunities.

We oftentimes take things for granted; people, opportunities, even material things. We think that people will always be there, that opportunities for growth and positivity will always come our way. We take our journeys through life, and sometimes we anticipate that everything will always go smoothly; however, the fact of the matter is we have to expect that life has a trajectory that we all are unknowing.

I have to say that while I haven’t experienced very many tragedies or traumatic experiences in my life, and I’m grateful for that, there are some that I do have regret. If the tables were turned and things were different, there are situations that I would have ensured I had done differently.

These experiences have taught me to never take opportunities for granted. If you love someone and feel the need to say it, then say it. If you want to do something that’s in your power to do, then do it. If you need to say something, then say it.

Never live with regrets. Try hard to live life without having too many “I should have” and “I wish I did” moments. Take advantage of the good things life gives and take the bad moments as learning situations.

That’s the message I’m taking through 2019.

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A letter to 2019.

I went through some very interesting circumstances this year; some that I’ve never been through before, some even that I have barely been ok enough to talk about. I wasn’t always being 100% for the important people in my life. I wasn’t present for a lot of people I love this year. I wasn’t present for myself. I didn’t set boundaries like I talked about, and I allowed people to take me for granted. I started to question things that I’ve learned, and things I’ve adapted to and wondered if they truly were for me. I was blessed to see another 365 days, and I pray I see another 365 more.

I wanted to make mention of the things that didn’t go quite right for me, in order to set myself up to be more motivated to make sure I don’t repeat the same things. Some of the times I had this past year have been some of the lowest of my life, but my hope is not to dwell on those things; but rather reflect and adjust accordingly so that they don’t happen again.

In 2019, I don’t want to make any big resolutions or anything, but I want to affirm put into the universe that I will truly love me first. When I say love me first, I mean set the boundaries I didn’t set, put the intentions out in the world that will help me evolve. I want to say what I want with strength and weight behind it and don’t make bullshit promises to myself. I want to set a goal, a real one and actually put in the work to achieve it. I want to attain the success I know I’m capable of, and stop acting like good things can’t happen to me.

There are a few things I’d like to step out of the box and try, and I’m making it my mission to do those things in 2019. I’ve realized the only thing stopping me is my own apprehension and doubtful energy. So this year, my goal will be to create the right kind of energy spaces for me to evolve and become my best self, because I know I’m destined for things far better than what they have been, and my only goal is to always stay on the grind to achieve that.

With all this being said, I am hopeful for positive energy. I am aiming for a successful year and meaningful transitions. 2018 is a year that broke me down, but 2019 will be the year I am rebuilt and reborn.

Watch out.

Self-Care Sunday: Baggage Claim

Bag lady…

You gon’ hurt yo back,

Draggin’ all them bags like that….

Why do we carry all of our baggage around with us in every situation in our lives? Why is it that with every negative experience, we don’t take time to release whatever it is and whatever weight that goes with that experience, so that we don’t carry that “baggage” with us wherever we go?

This week, I reflected on how much people tend to wear themselves down with the idea of carrying around old experiences and old wounds, and projecting those things negatively into new experiences and onto new people. By doing that, you already taint what good things you have going in your life, instead of taking the time to put those bags down and setting them aside once those past experiences are done and out of your life.

I believe that certain “baggage” in life is meant to either be carried with you throughout your life and be utilized, to be put aside and picked up again one day when up need it, or to put aside and released completely. It is up to you to discern what baggage is released or kept and when it is done. The key is to know when it is best to do these things, and not allow the things that need to be released to linger on in your life too long, for fear that they will effect positive outcomes in your life!!

3 Ways to Improve my Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Health

Now that I have surpassed a big milestone in my life (turning 30 in November), I am consistently pulled into a position of how I feel that this next chapter in life is a part of a big transition for me in life. I feel like im at a point in my life where there are so many opportunities that will come into fruition for me after I turn 30 that I want to make the most of what life has in store for me when I turn 30. In order for me to achieve this, I must be emotionally, mentally and spiritually aligned and healthy so that I will be able to properly receive what is for me in this next phase in my life. Without these three aspects of my life in check, everything I feel will not fall in place and be completely out of sync for me.

Oftentimes, and also do many times in my life, I’ve walked around in life not knowing which way to go or how to get to my desired goal in life. As I’m sure we all have at one point in our lives, I’ve suffered from several emotionally trying events in my life; some that I’d wish I had never had to experience; however those experiences are what shaped me and molded me into who I am today, and they also shaped how I view how to prepare myself into becoming more emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy for anything else that may arise in my life.

I want to highlight at least one thing I do to remain emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy throughout my life and hope that it helps someone else in their life if they are going through trying times, or need any suggestions in these areas as well:

1. How to stay emotionally healthy:

  • Conquer my self-awareness: in order for me to remain emotionally healthy, I had to remember that the first step is to always be aware of my inner self and stay grounded in that. If I kept on the forefront of who I was emotionally first, those around me will realize my worth and watch over me when I truly need it most. For me, this and my overall happiness were things I had to and continue to have to work on, because if I’m not happy with these things about myself, then others around me will not see these qualities in me.

2. How to stay mentally healthy:

  • Take charge of your self-care: There is no reason that in 2017, no one is not abiding by a self-care regimen by now. I feel as if this is not s staple in your life, it needs to become one quickly. I adapted a self-care attitude early in 2017 and have not looked back since. Making my self-care a priority has not only improved my mental health, but it has also proven to make me a healthier person inside and out.

3. How to stay spiritually healthy:

  • Take time out of the day to meditate: Meditation has become a lifesaver for me in many circumstances. Taking as little as 5 minutes to breathe has been quite a lifesaver and a refreshing restart that I never thought it would be. Meditation has also allowed me to gain more spiritual awareness with myself, especially in the times when I feel I’m losing touch with it. With my busy schedule I get very lost in everything that surrounds my job that I sometimes lose sight of taking the time for those things, and that is where meditation becomes a big priority for me.

PSA: Bullying Doesn’t Make you Cool.

**this post was edited and reposted after conflicting information regarding Keaton’s actions and his family’s actions.

I’ve recently discovered several posts regarding children taking their lives because of being bullied. With each article, blog post or update via social media, the sight of a story involving a young child committing suicide does not get any easier to bear. Then, to find out the child suffered by being constantly bullied is even more sickening to hear.

In my line of work, along with child safety, I also deal with circumstances surrounding children who are suffering from suicidal ideation. The reasons vary; however, a lot of times, it is due to bullying at school. I’ve had several children state that they are bullied in school and it makes them very depressed.

Recently in my city, there was a child who committed suicide because she was bullied. She was 13. Just recently, a 10 year old child (Ashawnty Davis) took her own life because of bullying in Auroro, Co. another 13 year old child (Rosalie Avila) spent years being bullied, and took her own life because of it. It breaks my heart to see a child feel worthless and talk about themselves as if they don’t matter to the world, because their peers have put that into their heads. To know a child is being bullied, for as little reason as how they may look (something totally out of their control), is a scary thought.

Most people may not understand how a child can allow themselves to get tied up into what others think of them; however, I also believe that this is one of the reasons bullying becomes so underreported and unaddressed. When children often feel as if they have no one to connect to, it causes an even greater divide between that child and their parents, and their parents’ ability to get resources that they need to deal with the depression or negative feelings that are associated with being bullied.

I hope that there is more research and awareness effort that goes into bullying, cyber-bullying and the negative psychological effect it has on children and teenagers, and I hope this brings more attention to the need for more crisis intervention and programs that help address signs of a child suffering from any depression or possible suicidal ideation. I believe it takes seeing to believe, and more people need to see that bullying has a horrible effect on children. Children are committing suicide at younger ages because of how much they are bullied. To know a child is so young enough to position in their minds that they no longer want to live on this earth is completely heart breaking.

I say this in memory of Rosalie, Ashawnty, and all of the other children out there that may be struggling with their emotions as a victim of bullying: never let someone take your joy. You were made in God’s image, and for that, you are beautiful no matter what people say. Don’t let anyone take away your smile, and don’t let anyone steal your joy for life.

I am saddened that these young girls were so devastated by what was happening to them, that they felt that taking their own life was the only resort to the damage that was done. I hope that more awareness is made around bullying, as it is real and there are children becoming victims and ending their lives because of it.

#StandWithAshawnty #StandWithRosalie

When Adulting Got Real

So, I saw this question posed on Twitter and decided it would be a good question for me to answer in the form of a blog post. So many times, we hear young millennials say “I can’t wait ’til I’m grown”; and quite frankly, I can remember a time when not so long ago, I was saying it myself. Now here I am, grown, and wishing I was a teenager again without all these adult responsibilities! I mean, what was I thinking?!

So the question posed on Twitter was this:

“what or when was the specific moment in life when you felt like an adult?”

My answer would have to be the first time I paid an electric bill in the winter time. It sounds very silly to say, but that moment was a teachable moment for me, because I learned a few things:

  • How to strategize keeping my temperature in my house reasonable to save money (energy saving techniques and whatnot)
  • How electric companies gouge prices in the winter time (because that’s really all they’re doing in the end smh)
  • Why my mother was so adamant about me NOT touching the thermostat after she set it (LOL)

Now, I had been handling bills on my own (or with roommates rather) for a while at that time, but never really realized just how serious a winter-time electric bill could be until this moment. I knew adulthood had gotten real and after I had a stern conversation with the electric company, I knew right then how to play the game so I wouldn’t get played again.

It may have been a normal, or minimal moment for some who have been through this before, but for me, this was my moment of truth to say “yo, I’m an adult; and this is about to get real!” Lol. It was quite a learning experience for me and it was amazing now that I look back on that one memory and am amazed at the few valuable lessons it taught me about some of the most simple things in life. 🙂

What about you; what moment in your life solidified adulthood for you?

So, I’m 30; Now What??

Now that I’m officially “in my 30’s” I have felt a very blatant and noticeable shift in my perspective and energy. I feel the strong desire to make some hard decisions about my life and where it’s going. I’m not sure if it’s just the aura of the new age; however, I am feeling my “get ish done” mode being turned up to overdrive in a matter of days.

There have been so many things on a personal level that crossed my mind as I reflected on turning 30. Things I either need to sit and talk about with my husband, or just things that I feel need to change within myself.

As the days continue to pass and I embark on this new chapter, one thing I hope to see in my life is a manifestation and growth of new and exciting opportunities, life changes not only for myself, but for my family, expansion, business ventures, maybe even a change of scenery. Who knows; but what I do know is I’m ready and waiting for what great things will come my way!