I recently listened to a powerful message regarding forgiveness and it made me reflect on my feelings towards the concept of forgiveness and how I have allowed it to impact my life and dealings with situations when it comes to forgiving others.

One thing I know about forgiveness; it’s scary as hell.  No one wants to forgive anyone,  lol.  When you’re mad, you want to stay mad at someone FOREVA *insert Cardi B voice*.  This unfortunately cannot always be the case, though; and as we continue to thrive and grow into adults, we have to learn to forgive.

Forgiveness is that one thing that we all fear, because we know it means that we will eventually have to make amends with someone that we truly don’t want to; but I think the one thing we tend to forget is that we do not have to forget what happened with that person.  Forgiving someone does not negate that something bad happened to them or excuses someone’s behavior by any means; it simply means that you are pardoning what someone has done to you and no longer holding it against them.  It is oftentimes something easier said than done.

One of the most important things I got from this message about forgiveness was that you have to remember that it is not right to seek vengeance against that person, no matter how much hurt you feel in your heart.  It is second nature to want to hurt the person just as much, if not more than they hurt you; just so they can feel the same way you felt in the end.  When you act with that mentality, you have to ask yourself, who does that really benefit in the end?  Do you really feel any better about the situation after using all that energy to inflict all of that pain and revenge on someone else?  I have been through that as well, and it really didn’t serve me any real purpose in the end; I still felt the same way even while trying to seek all that revenge.

As I get older and begin to embrace a new level of maturity, I begin to embrace a level of forgiveness.  I begin to look at life and understand that life is too short to continue to hold on to issues that are not worth the energy or negativity that we put into them.  I feel like when you begin to wonder why you are still mad about something, it is time to re-evaluate whether or not you need to start the process towards forgiveness.  As I grow, I learn; and as I learn, I better myself.