Forgiveness: A Reflection on Its Impact

I recently listened to a powerful message regarding forgiveness and it made me reflect on my feelings towards the concept of forgiveness and how I have allowed it to impact my life and dealings with situations when it comes to forgiving others.

One thing I know about forgiveness; it’s scary as hell.  No one wants to forgive anyone,  lol.  When you’re mad, you want to stay mad at someone FOREVA *insert Cardi B voice*.  This unfortunately cannot always be the case, though; and as we continue to thrive and grow into adults, we have to learn to forgive.

Forgiveness is that one thing that we all fear, because we know it means that we will eventually have to make amends with someone that we truly don’t want to; but I think the one thing we tend to forget is that we do not have to forget what happened with that person.  Forgiving someone does not negate that something bad happened to them or excuses someone’s behavior by any means; it simply means that you are pardoning what someone has done to you and no longer holding it against them.  It is oftentimes something easier said than done.

One of the most important things I got from this message about forgiveness was that you have to remember that it is not right to seek vengeance against that person, no matter how much hurt you feel in your heart.  It is second nature to want to hurt the person just as much, if not more than they hurt you; just so they can feel the same way you felt in the end.  When you act with that mentality, you have to ask yourself, who does that really benefit in the end?  Do you really feel any better about the situation after using all that energy to inflict all of that pain and revenge on someone else?  I have been through that as well, and it really didn’t serve me any real purpose in the end; I still felt the same way even while trying to seek all that revenge.

As I get older and begin to embrace a new level of maturity, I begin to embrace a level of forgiveness.  I begin to look at life and understand that life is too short to continue to hold on to issues that are not worth the energy or negativity that we put into them.  I feel like when you begin to wonder why you are still mad about something, it is time to re-evaluate whether or not you need to start the process towards forgiveness.  As I grow, I learn; and as I learn, I better myself.

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Chill Out; We Still Care About That, Too. 

I saw a post that really bothered me the other day; and truth be told, it bothers me on a frequent level (about as frequent as I see it).

Everyone who’s not living under a rock or in denial knows that the world is in shambles, and between living in the era of #Cheeto45, racial injustices, senseless shootings, etc. it’s truly hard to continue to keep up with the desctruction happening everyday.

What bothers me, is when something light-hearted, funny or even possibly slightly ignorant happens on social media and it goes viral, it seems to  be a crime to acknowledge it; because people  think that it’s just a secret plot to take your mind off of “what’s more important”.

I’ve seen it several times in many different ways.  One may say, “Oh, ________ is happening to take your minds off of __________ and y’all are falling for it, smh.” OR, “don’t let _________overshadow _________.  Y’all stay woke!” *insert side eye here, there and everywhere*.

I guess what bothers me about the statement,  is that people tend to judge someone based on what they are talking about or posting at that time.  Just because I notice something that has hit the media today, doesn’t mean I forgot about the tragedy that happened two days ago that I spoke about as well.  People are entitled to  have opinions and feelings about more than one thing at a time; and just because we are discussing one thing on one day, doesn’t mean we have completely swept everything else under the rug.

I feel like the intention is that we have to dwell on one subject for whatever allotted amount of time is deemed appropriate, before you can move on to the next thing.  I may be taking it a tad bit too seriously, but this is just my personal opinion about it.  I don’t think the overall intention is to just sweep everything under the rug and then forget about it, but I also feel that people are entitled to place feelings wherever they see fit.

This is just my two cents about it, but it’s in no way the “right” or “wrong” way to feel.

-Whit C.