So, picture it:
You meet a guy (or girl), they sweep you off your feet. They do the whole nine; buys you “just-because-it’s-Tuesday flowers, opens your door, pulls out your chair, cooks you fancy meals, lavish date nights, appearance is flawless, etc. You get totally pampered and cherished while dating this person, and begin to become more and more exclusive with this person. Weeks, months, years start to pass by and the relationship has truly blossomed into more than you ever imagined.
Then, all of a sudden….everything starts to slowly dwindle away. The flowers are few and far between, you are pulling out your own chair for dinner, the fancy meals start to look more and more like take-out and date nights might happen on a full moon, but don’t count on it.
This happens all too many times in relationships. We go through a wonderful honeymoon phase with our significant other, and then somewhere down the line, the newness wears off, and we feel like we can be our old selves and let a few things go.
Why do we do this to ourselves, and our mates? A lot of times, some of the common issues in a relationship are that things have just died down a lot and it’s not fun anymore. You hear it all the time:
“He used to take me out on dates, now we just sit in the house all the time”
“She used to take care of herself, now she just lets herself go and doesn’t care”
“He used to work out all the time, now he has a beer belly”
“He/She isn’t spicing things up in the bedroom”
Lol…these are all things I have either read, seen or heard about people’s relationships. I don’t know if it just gets old, we just get too comfortable, or we are just putting on a front to impress the person we want, and once we got them, we let go. I am not an expert, and don’t have all the answers, but I feel like with the experience I have in relationships, it could be a combination of all 3.
More commonly, I think people get comfortable with their relationship, and forget that you really want those nice things to happen, in order to keep things alive in your relationship. Most times, several things may affect this: kids, bills, responsibilities, work, it could be anything! I’m not saying that you have to buy everything in the store or go on extravagant getaways or vacations, but even going out on dinner and a movie dates once a month could be fun. At least you have that one weekend out of the month where you get your hair and nails done, pull out your best outfit and just commit to having the best time with someone you love! You have to remember what got you to stay with this person. Was it that they were attractive? They made you laugh? You went out on really nice and fun dates? Whatever it was, DON’T LET IT DIE!
Now, I am not saying that people cannot change. I thoroughly agree that people change everyday; however, if you are someone who wants “that old thing back”, think about what was going on then, that’s not going on now. Try to make an effort to spontaneously bring that thing back to your relationship now. There is no harm in it, but I think if you and your mate both agree that something has changed, find out what each person wants, and try to bring all those things back, just for the sake of having that good feeling back into your relationship. 🙂