Confessions of a Loc’d Goddess: My Daughter’s Journey

For a long time, my daughter and i have had a love/hate relationship with her hair. She’s always had very beautiful, thick, curly hair. I would enjoy playing in her hair; but wash days were something we would both dread. Between her screaming at the thought of me even wanting to put water on it, and me pretty much bribing her with any and everything under the sun just to get through wash day, they were not my most shining moments as a parent. We would both wait until the absolute LAST minute to even think about doing hair, and when we did, it was quite an event…neither one of us ended the ordeal in a good mood.

Kynn having locs was never a definite idea for me. I always wanted to make sure she was 1) old enough to understand the process of having and maintaining locs, and 2) old and mature enough to make the decision on her own whether she wanted to start her own locs. Now, the more we developed this tension with doing her hair, the more I would internally joke about how having locs wouldn’t be the worst idea, lol.

The question came up more than once; not only from her mouth, but even as a fleeting thought in my head: “you know, I could just loc her hair….”. I thought about it, but it would immediately fade away, because I figured it was way too soon. I never wanted to make the decision hastily; and I also never wanted to make a decision for Kynnedy that she didn’t have a say in, just because of my frustration. That may sound strange to some, but I am a different type of person in that I do value the opinion of my child and want her to be and feel comfortable in her appearance. I didn’t want to loc her hair merely out of convenience for me and to relieve the stress we have with doing her hair. I wanted it to be loc’d only if Kynnedy wanted to start that journey and she wanted it to be something we shared.

On the cusp of her sixth birthday, the conversation had finally started to pick back up, after it had sort of faded off after she had turned 5. She began to say that she wanted her hair to be more “like mine” as a present for her birthday. Just like times before, I explained to her what and how my hair was, and that once it began to loc up, there wasn’t much turning back from that and Kynn didn’t seem to care. She was adamant that she was ready and that locs were what she wanted. I talked it over with my husband and we both felt that she was mature enough to understand that the process and consequences were if she no longer wanted them. I couldn’t lie, I was a bit nervous at the thought, but willing to give it a shot if it’s really what she wanted.

So, on 7/12/20, I put a fresh set of two-strand twists in my daughters hair with the intent that they will one day bud into locs if she will let them. When I was done, she was very excited (you should have seen her primping and swinging her hair in the mirror, lol).

Overall, I’m pretty excited to see my daughter go through this journey. Although some may disagree with my choice, I think it’s important to listen to children and their desires to what makes them feel beautiful and unique. If having locs is what Kynnedy feels will make her feel beautiful then I want to honor that for her.

As a woman with locs, I look forward to how both myself and my daughter having locs will connect us on a deeper level. I look forward to teaching my daughter some of the things I learned about locs; how to care for them, how to handle them and most of all how to love yourself through every process of hair growth. Birthing a new set of locs is an amazing feeling, especially when I get to see them grow in my own home everyday. And I hope my daughter will understand how important they are to her overall beauty as she and her hair continues to grow and mature.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Shelly DS says:

    As a mom of a kinky haired girl, I completely understand your struggles! If she chooses to at a later stage, she can always do the big chop. You are such a great mom for really thinking about her wishes through all of this ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whitney C. says:

      Thank you! I think that was the one part I always wanted to make sure of. I never wanted to force her to do something she didn’t want to do; eventually it turned into her forcing me to do it! Lol 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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