Dear Discovery,

You made it clear that there was so much more that needed to be done. You allowed me to realize that there was so much more potential than what was being presented.

This was a month of evaluation, but it took a totally different turn than expected. What wasn’t expected was to take a break from blogging; the goals that were set were found to be a bit unrealistic because there was some necessary time from creating that needed to happen.

You helped me realize that what I was trying to attain was a level of perfection that I never intended to attain. Taking a moment to dial it back was just what I needed to re-evaluate and come back stronger.

Thank you, hopefully this will set me up to be even better in the months to come.

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A Process Towards Rediscovering Myself

Life’s journey all begins in process.  I whole-heartedly believe that this life we live in is unique and while everyone has the same overall goal of happiness; the way in which we achieve that happiness is vastly different.  We all have our own journeys that we will face, we all have our own truth to discover along the way, but most importantly, the way in which we all get to our destinations; our process throughout this life, is vastly different and it is the defining factor in how we become who we are and what our purpose is in life.  All of these things tend to blend together at some point in our lives; but one thing that will always remain certain is that no two people on this earth share the exact same process and I believe that is truly what makes the world diverse.

As we all go through life, we all are completing a process; no matter how big or small it may be.  We are being tested in many different aspects and what we learn and the things we gather from those tests help shape us and help us to understand our truth.  The more I reflect on this in a more personal manner, I find myself focusing more on the idea of my process and how that leads me on a pathway towards defining myself on a deeper level as I transition into a new chapter in my life; one several of us may be or will be familiar with at one point in our lives; Chapter 30.

I’m currently 29, and only have seventeen days officially until I turn the big 3-0.  In the last few years, I have begun a process of my own to start developing a deeper understanding and a deeper level of self-discovery.  I felt like I only knew myself on a superficial level and wanted to know more about what my truth was and what it would be as I began to mature into a new era of my life.  Lately, 30 has felt more like turning the last page of a chapter, and beginning a new one.  I can literally feel a shift in my life happening; a positive shift that I am mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally preparing for.  I’ve matured in so many ways and grown in so many ways in the last few years, and I want to see how those things begin to settle and manifest themselves as I grow into my 30’s and beyond.

For so long, I have had this “unknown” feeling about myself.  I have finally started to sort out just what it is in my life that I want to do and want to accomplish, and I feel like I will be able to accomplish those things as I go into “Chapter 30.”  I know life always sends you unknowns, but I feel like I will be more prepared for them now than I was in my 20’s.

One thing I’ve learned going through this personal process thus far, is that it is not always an easy task, and just like anything in life, it will have its barriers.  Your process may be stunted by obstacles that are completely beyond your ability to control.  Oftentimes, the uncontrollable obstacles are the most difficult ones to overcome, because they are beyond our realm of understanding.  They are the ones you want to fix the most but you know deep down you cannot fix them.

The reality is, your life’s process will bring about all of these things; good times and bad, the key is focusing on how you overcome those things and how those different experiences shape you as a person.  These experiences are why develop you as a person and what help you tell the world who you truly are to this universe.

I hope that with my process, I am able to gain all that the universe has in store for me.  I hope to find out the wonderful things and even the ugly truths about myself.  I hope that my process is one that will build me up to be someone to withstand some of life’s greatest struggles; because that is how you know when you can survive the hardest battles.

#WhitWritesHerNovel: Back Into the Swing of Things

So, with the debut of my newest novel about 2 months in at this point (order copies HERE), I feel like i have taken a decent enough break and am ready to jump back full force into writing up the sequel to Playing with Fire.

So far, I have written out the characters and their brief descriptions, just to keep me from veering too far off from the intentions and roles of each character.  Now, I have begun throwing every possible plot scenario into my notebook, and figuring out the rest later.  I would say that is my best way to write.  I just start typing or writing and don’t stop until the well runs dry.  It can be a gift and a curse at times.

Now, the problem I have is when I pull out my Beats, my notebook, my favorite G2 pen, pull up Tidal and right before my pen hits the paper, NOTHING.  I have lost all motivation and urge to write anything down.  I usually give myself about 10 minutes and twiddle my thumbs or tap my pen against my notebook, trying to find some inkling that there is a possibility that words will flow, but nah…nothing usually comes out.  So then, I pack it all up and try again the next day.

Once again, I am plagued with the struggle behind the motivation to write, and strictly getting things on the page!  As much as I love to write, so many of lifes forces continue to get in the way of me sitting down and actually having time to write.  I haven’t been on my writing routine that I started for my first novel, which included writing everyday for about an hour an a half.  I didn’t put a word count on it, because I didn’t want to force garbage out of my brain, but I made a conscious effort to put fingers to keys, or pen to paper at least once a day for no less than  90 minutes.  Now that I have had time to celebrate my accomplishments, I need to get back into the swing of things and start cranking out this second novel.  This week I told myself that I will try to get that routine started again, to keep the juices flowing and the ideas pouring out.  I have learned so much from the process, that I am determined that #PWFII will be bigger and better than the first!

Keep me uplifted while I journey through the writing process for a second time!!