Mother. Wife. Supervisor. Employee. Provider. There are so many times when women who fall into these categories are defined by these words. We are characterized, classified and described with these words and at times, our identity and worth is sometimes only valued based on these things. For five years, I have had the pleausre of being a wife; three of those years I have been on the journey of motherhood; and that same amount of time I have held a managerial role at my job as a supervisor. I identify these roles because a lot of times these roles either have positive or even negative connotations to them. You can either be praised for the strength and determination it takes to hold these titles; while in some eyes, your abilities and talents are narrowed to only these roles.
I am More Than What my Titles Define
As a woman who holds these titles, I don’t want to be ashamed when I say, I want to be known for the things I do outside of these things. I am thoroughly proud to be a mother and take pride in being a wife, but I also have interests, thoughts and opinions that define my individuality outside of those things. Sometimes, I don’t want to have non-stop conversation about parenting or marriage, because there’s so much more that goes on in my life outside of these things. I feel as if I don’t want to always complain or discuss my job or my work. Aspects of these things are nice; or how they may relate to real-life issues can be fine, but my conversations and my lifestyle does not have to center around 24-7 “mommy” type things, or “married/wife” things. I am an individual Black woman. I have friends who come from all walks of life who have so many different things going for themselves. I am a writer and published author, I read the news, I follow social media for the simple fact that I like to stay connected to things going on in the world and within my age range and demographic.
I have done this very often, and I tend to challenge myself to tell people things that are not so obvious about myself. Two things that someone will always know about me within 30 minutes of speaking with me is that I am a wife and I am a mother, because those are the things that I tend to assume people will always only want to know about me. I believe that women are designed to tell people those basic facts about themselves, because they are the most important things, and not highlight any of the other things that are important to them in their lives.