What was the hardest time of my life? How has that affected me?

Wow…

I’ve been trying for two days to answer this question; it’s really made me think.  I would have to say the hardest time of my life was when my grandfather passed away, because it was the first time I had experienced loss that immediate in my family and old enough to understand.

My grandfather, who I wrote a dedication to last year on the 10-year anniversary of his passing, was the greatest and sweetest man I had ever known.  He was living proof that good guys existed, and he was the model in which I wanted my husband to be.  I remember all the good things about him; especially the things that make me smile and laugh, because his laughter is one thing that brings me the greatest joy.  He laughed with so much passion for life.

When he got sick, at first, you could tell it wasn’t getting him down.  He tried his best to continue living life the best way he could.  When he got sicker, you could tell that it was really taking a toll.

The year he passed was the same year i started college.  I battled with a lot of emotions surrounding his death; one being regret.  There were so many opportunities I felt I missed out on to visit with him, because I always thought I’d have time, or there would always be a next time.

His passing taught me a very valuable lesson about cherishing and valuing the time you have with people.  You don’t know where life will take you or what will happen; so if you want to do something, do it.  Don’t wait; don’t tell yourself you will have time if you feel like you may not.  The level of regret is sometimes too uncomfortable to bear