May. Was. Shit.
I apologize in advance for my foul language in this post, but it is what it is. Sometimes we have bad months, and May was mine. Let’s talk about it, shall we?
First off, I would be remiss if I did not highlight some of the good things of the month. A beautiful baby was born, and my two nephews were able to go home with my sister after being in the NICU for 159 and 164 days (each). I was also able to wake up each day with my health and strength in tact, so that was a plus. All in all, there were blessings in May; however, emotionally, physically, mentally; I just could NOT take the month of May anymore than the 31 days it required of me.
I refuse to go into detail about a lot of what I was going through, because I don’t really feel as if I’m ready and there were some important people involved that I’d rather not involve in this; however, I will say that this month was emotionally taxing and it took a toll on me individually. It took me to some very dark places, and I had to definitely continue to find the motivation and drive to continue to stay optimistic and continue to find the purpose in all of the struggle I was going through. One thing I try to keep in mind, is that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. I know that I cannot see it now, but I know that for some reason, I went through these things for a reason that I can yet to comprehend or understand right at this moment.
As I watched the clock strike 12:00 am this morning, and May 31 transition into June 1 (which shouldn’t have happened, I should have been sleep, Jesus SMH), I said a silent prayer, thanking God that I made it through, and prayed for new beginnings and a refresh into a new month and hopefully a fresh start into this month.