A Cheat for a Cheat??

**if you haven’t watched up to episode 6 of Greenleaf, I’ll possibly be spoiling.  Proceed with caution.**
So, I was catching up on my Greenleaf episodes yesterday, and I saw a part of episode 6 (Good Morning, Calvary) that sparked some interesting thoughts that I wanted to share.

Before I get started, let me set the stage for anyone who has forgotten or wants to get some details on what happened:

In the scene I was watching, there is this exchange between Jacob and his wife, about how they are going over to a new friend’s house for “dinner” in hopes that Jacob could land a TV broadcasting deal.  In a previous meeting, you can clearly see that the executive has shown an interest in Kerissa, so you can already read between the lines and can only imagine how this dinner may go.  In the scene when they are getting ready to head out, Kerissa seems prepared to make this sacrifice and take the night wherever it may go, for the sake of her husband’s career and getting back in bishop’s good graces, while Jacob has suddenly had a change of heart, telling Kerissa that she is his woman, and he does not want another man touching her.

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Kerissa seems taken aback by the statement, due to the fact that Jacob has not respected that same notion with Kerissa.  It appears that Kerissa is not opposed to giving Jacob a taste of his own medicine for once, so he can finally see how she has felt all these times that Jacob has stepped out on her.  Needless to say, Jacob is not happy about it.

Of course as I’m watching, this got me to thinking about infidelity, and its consequences; because I have seen this on more than one occasion either in real life or on TV.  Here we have a situation, where a man has been exposed for cheating on his wife, and when she is ready to “even the score” in a sense, her husband is not in any way having it (talk about a bit of a double standard, ya know?)! So, in situations like this, it causes me to wonder the following:

  • If your significant other came at you with this type of attitude towards the situation, could you really even be mad?
  • Should someone use the opportunity to “cheat back” on their significant other if they have been cheated on to even the score and wipe the slate clean?
  • Does an essential “eye for an eye” mentality truly resolve the underlying issues behind the infidelity?

These are things that definitely made me go “hmmmm”

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Here’s my take on it.

Infidelity is possibly one of the most complex issues in marriage, because every perspective is different.  Everyone has different boundaries and buttons, and what looks like cheating to one person, may not look that way to another.  Personally, I don’t think that simply “cheating back” on your significant other is the answer to solving the underlying issue, if there truly is an underlying issue to find.  I think it just gives the other person the opportunity to cause the same amount of hurt that their significant other caused; and sometimes even that won’t work, because your significant other may not even be phased by it.  At that point, you wonder, “well what is the real point of all this anyway!?”

With this in mind, I feel that the consequences and repercussions to cheating are just as complex.  I don’t think there is one way to resolve that in a way that you can be truly satisfied, because again, relationships are not cookie cutter.  There is no two relationship dynamics that are alike.  What I will say is that whatever way you choose to deal with infidelity, is one that you will need to be able to accept as a standard in your relationship between you and your significant other.  If you want to adapt the “eye for an eye” model, then hey…do your thing.  If you want to work it out, or even throw him/her out in the street…again, that’s how you handle it in your relationship.  I am not here to dictate on the right or wrong way to forgive, forget or get even.  What I will encourage is to find the real reason why that is going on, because it may be something that simply cheating back can’t fix.

That’s my take on it, I’d love to hear if anyone has a different perspective!  Let’s talk about it!!

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