So, I have recently seen that Mo’Nique has stated that she has given her man a hall pass, and the floodgates have opened up!
I was listening to Rickey Smiley this morning, while women were calling in giving their 2 cents as where they stand with giving their mate a hall pass. I heard a bevy of answers:
- Hell no!
- Yea, but I gotta get to cheat too.
- Yea, but he can’t bring anything home.
- Yea, but there are certain rules.
- (I even heard one woman say her and her husband have been swinging for years, heeeeeey. More power to you, hunty!
Needless to say, I was thoroughly amused at the responses. Now, here is my opinion on this:
I don’t knock anyone for their type of marriage; whether it be open, closed, swinging, traditional, whatever! I don’t judge and I don’t criticize because not everyone’s love looks the same. With that being said, my personal view on a “hall pass” of sorts, is completely out of the question.
I think a hall pass is basically saying “I can go out and live my fantasies with one man/woman, get what I’m not getting at home for that little bit, and then go back to what I have.” If that’s the case, why not do that with the person you love? And if that person is not meeting your need or cannot fulfill what your desires are, is it time to re-evaluate who you are with, or make compromises on what you want and what they can provide for you? I think these are questions you definitely have to ask yourself before you open yourself up to something you might not be ready to accept. If my husband actually was open to the idea of having a hall pass, I would be questioning 1) What am I not doing at home that makes you feel you need to find someone else to do it? 2) What needs am I not fulfilling for you?
I personally feel that I married the ONE MAN I want to be with for the rest of my life. Now, if I see a nice looking man, I might look a little (Idris Elba 🙂 ). If a man compliments me, I respond politely. I don’t completely throw up the X and say “LEAVE ME BE IM A MARRIED WOMAN YOU NASTY !&#$^@&”, Lol; however, I know how to take a compliment, or give a compliment to someone without it being disrespectful to my marriage. I may have fantasies and things I want to do or wish to do in my marriage and if that is the case, I communicate those things with my husband. If my husband is not the most romantic person in the world, but will pay a bill if I need it, cook when I can’t, do a little laundry, etc…and throw a little romance in here and there, I can live with that. I may pout about it, LOL, but I can take that because he is doing things that most men wouldn’t even DARE do. How many men do YOU know that do the laundry and clean? Shoot, sometimes you have to count your blessings and realize when you got something good.
The good thing about my marriage is we are comfortable meeting the needs of each other. I can tell him openly what I want and vice versa. With that type of understanding, who needs a hall pass? For all those that do, more power to you; but for me, I think I’m good with who and what I have 🙂 .
Photo Cred: The Numbers