Self-Care Sunday: Stop Giving when You Have Nothing Left to Give

How many times do we hear people say “don’t pour from an empty cup?”

Now, how many of us actually listen to that advice?

No one? Exactly.

A lot of us are givers. I’m a giver. I give my all to the people I love. I will go above and beyond without a thought of how it may or may not affect me physically or mentally; and sometimes, that can prove to be a real issue. You know why? Because when it’s time to put in time for myself, I have no energy to give myself.

Recently, I’ve learned a valuable lesson in my giving to others vs. giving to myself. I learned that in order to be able to give to someone else, I need to do a check in with myself to ensure I’ve got enough left over for myself. I was told this:

If giving to someone else will deplete you mentally, physically or emotionally; then it does not need to be given to someone else. It needs to stay with you.

I also learned that when being mindful about how much I give to others, to always keep in mind that this does not mean I have to become a completely self-involved person and decide to just stop being who I am inside. With my personality and how I was raised, it is always going to be in my nature to do whatever I can to help and be a giver to someone else; but the best way for me to tailor that to ensure I am also keeping the focus on myself, is to learn how to keep a healthy balance of doing for myself at least twice as much as I do for someone else.

The way I see it, I need to make sure I’ve done at least two things for myself before I commit to doing any one thing for someone else. That way, that allows me to ensure I have taken adequate care of me, so I can be there for my family and friends.

While I’m still a work in progress, I’m so proud of the work I’m doing and the work I can share with you all. I hope in some way it touches someone else and makes you think about what impact you make on others, but also how that impact is affecting how much energy you leave for yourself at the end of it all.

Remember, you can’t pour from and empty cup. 🖤