When you have children, you never know what to cherish; what moments to etch into your memory, what silly things to photograph or put on video, or what things you should never take for granted. As parents, we try to make everything a lasting moment, but sometimes that’s not possible. Today, I had a brief moment of sadness, as i realized my daughter is truly beginning to own her independence.
We usually walk Kynn up to the school and drop her off right in the front so she can walk from there. We do this for 2 main reasons; 1- it gives us the opportunity to still make sure she gets into the school, and 2- it’s quicker than the parent drop off line.
I remember one day, my husband told me that he took her through the parent drop off line at school (for reasons that escape me now). We didn’t think much of it, because she really didn’t mention it after that, until lately.
Lately, Kynn has been very adamant that she wants to “walk by herself” (get dropped off) instead of us walking her. We refused it a few times, which she wasn’t happy about, but finally, the other day my husband started taking her back through the parent drop off. Now, this typically doesn’t phase me because he takes her and I pick her up from school.
Yesterday, due to Brandon being out of town for work, I took Kynn to school this morning. On our way there, I called my husband and he mentioned her walking up to school by herself. She said that she wanted me to drop her off, and she was a big girl and could walk to school by herself now. I’m not gonna lie, I was a little in my feelings about it, lol. I guess you could say that I was being a little selfish about our moment to walk up to the school, and being able to see her meet up with her friends and walk to her hallway.
So, instead of parking and walking her in, I took my place in the drop off line as requested. So here I was, in the line we said we’d never go in (mainly because it’s typically long as hell lol). Once it was Kynn’s turn, she took her seatbelt off, told me bye and hopped out of the car. The principal was there (he and several other teachers will escort the kids to the door or the school) and walked her right up to the door. She didn’t even look back, Lol. She was very happy though, and that’s what’s more important.
I tried to watch her, but I had to keep the line moving, so I drove on. I can admit that I had a few mixed feelings about this. I couldn’t help it, my little firecracker is now becoming a big kid right before my eyes. She’s developing her own personality and space and she expresses how she want things done her way.
I realized today that time is moving faster than I ever imagined. We are technically halfway through her first year of school, and before i know it, she’ll officially be in elementary school. I will admit there are a lot of things we do not restrict her from or constantly hover for, because we know we have a very independent child, but me and my husband do still have a few moments here and there where we know we are needed, and we take advantage of those moments because we know they are becoming more non-existent than we are ready for.
I try to prepare her for the world and what it has for her, but the reality is I never will know what’s in store for her life. Only God knows what path Kynn is destined to take. I know she knows she still has her parents in her corner always, but I feel like this is one of those little steps towards a more mature adolescent. What I do know and look forward to though, are those special moments when she does still need me, and best believe, I’ll always be by her side for as long as she needs me. 🖤
On 8/6/18 , I woke up, got Kynnedy ready, and dropped her off at her first day of Pre-K.
She was full of life and confidence; I, internally, was a mess.
I couldn’t help but stay in constant prayer all the way to the school that morning. I had to make sure that if God heard nothing else from my mouth, he would keep my child safe from harm while at school.
My daughter is now in the public school system. There is a certain shift in energy and a direct desire to be completely overprotective. I believe it is due to the type of work that I do. I receive several calls throughout the school year involving children, and even children being hurt by school personnel. I hope and pray that one day that is not my child, or that I am not in the position to have to report inappropriate actions by a school professional about my child.
I have reflected over the course of the week, and I believe that you’re never prepared to send your child into the public (or private) school system. For a child, it is a rite of passage and a new adventure; for parents, we are full of nerves, joy, apprehension, etc. (or at least that was me lol).
To all of those in my position, who’s child is entering the school system world and all it has to offer, we will get through this. The nerves will subside, the tears will stop, and we will have a successful year!
How many times do we clear our calendars, shuffle and scramble to make room for others, but when it comes to our own personal availability, we do not show the same effort?
With jobs, children, significant others/spouses, family, etc., it is very hard to say that you want to carve out time for yourself, when you have so many competing priorities in your life. So how do you find the time?
You make the time and you commit to yourself. It’s easy for us to make commitments to other people, even ones that may even be unrealistic to attain, but when it comes to putting forth that same attitude towards our own lives, we tend to draw back and say “no, I don’t need to.”
YES, YOU VERY MUCH NEED TO! 2018 is the year that we are all saying we are “living our best life”, and we all need to actually start doing that. We need to start making ourselves priority number one. If not, how can you even try to make time for anyone else to be a priority? How will you have the energy, the determination or the dedication to put your best foot forward for someone else, when you cannot even show that same energy towards your own life.
I personally get it; I have a husband, a child, nephews, family, and a very demanding job. I understand fully what it means to put forth all of this energy towards these other things and leave me on the back burner. My one example of that was when I was working out. Between all of the other things going on in my life, I neglected the one thing I loved doing, working out. For six months, I made excuses as to why I was not taking out the time for myself to go to the gym like I should have been, and I suffered greatly for it. It wasn’t until March when I realized that in order for me to be my best self, I need to make time for myself. That is when I got my motivation back to go to the gym consistently, and I am seeing major results from it.
Now, I can still manage to give to those who need me most, but I start my day off in the gym, so I am committing to giving to myself first.
For the second half of 2018, we should all adapt a mentality that says that we need to make more time for ourselves. We need to remember that priority number one is our health, well-being and mental stability; because without those things, how can you do anything or give 100% to anything else in your life, when you refuse to give 100% to yourself?
With the springtime in full swing, it’s not uncommon for you to get the feeling to want to do.a cleanse of sorts through your life. Some people clean their homes, while others may focus more on their personal lifestyles and determine what needs to be flushed out and what does not. Starting the spring season by getting rid of any toxic of negative relationships is one of the great ways to start the season, and a way to make room for new positive relationships.
If you currently are dealing with someone or several people that do not bring any positive benefits to your life, who constantly bring your mood down, or who don’t mean any good to you or are always negative; it may be time to release them from your life at the inception of this new season. There is no reason to bring that type energy into your Spring and Summer 2018 if you do not have to. It may be time to make a clean break from those who are not in your life with the intention to bring you any joy or happiness. This even includes some of your closest relationships; such as family and significant others.
Oftentimes, we hold on to what we believe are our most important relationships because of their title or their hierarchy in our lives. In all actuality, even some of the closest people to you may only be meant to last in life for a specific period of time before it is time to cleanse yourself of them.
So, before the spring comes in full force, will you be taking a hard look at your relationships and determining who stays and who goes?
Learning the new developments of the Rae Carrutth story have taught me nothing more than this one conclusion; forgiveness is truly a gift for those who have studied and learned it thoroughly.
A couple of days ago, you may have seen an article or two come out about a 15-page letter that Mr. Carruth penned to Rae’s girlfriends mother, detailing how he is now a changed man and how he has now had time to contemplate his mistakes and now wants a chance to fight for custody of his 18-year old son, Chancellor Lee Adams, who has been raised his entire life by his grandmother, Saundra Adams. His mother, Cherica Adams was killed by gunshots wounds inflicted by men who were said to be hired by Carruth to shoot and kill Ms. Adams, who were sentenced to 40 years in prison. As a result of the shooting, Ms. Adams died, and Chancellor suffered brain damage and has cerebral palsy. He has suffered several challenges from birth into his teenage and young adult life.
Rae is due to be release in October 2018, after serving 17 years in prison for his crimes. Mr. Carruth still strongly desires a relationship with his son, and even wants the chance at having custody of him, his argument being that Ms. Adams being older in age and not being around long enough to take care of him. Ms. Adams counters that argument, being confident that there is no way that he will ever have custody of Chancellor, being that he is the very person that wanted him murdered in the first place; and there are several viable family members in place that are willing to take Chancellor should anything ever happen to her.
What struck me to be quite surprising, is that Ms. Saundra even considered the idea of allowing Rae to even allow visitation to happen with Rae and Chancellor after he was released. I read an article that stated that upon his release, she was open to allowing the two to have supervised visitation. She stated that, “I’ve forgiven Rae already, but to have any type of relationship with him, there does have to be some repentance,” Adams said. “And I think this opens the door”
Girl, that’s strength; a strength I wouldn’t know I would have.
I personally have to applaud Ms. Adams in this moment, because I don’t know how many of us would have the qualities to dig deep enough to find it in our hearts to believe that a man has repented their sins, and trusted their own faith to forgive a man who murdered our child, disabled our grandchild and allowed them the opportunity to have a relationship with their living parent. I cannot say right now on this day in 2018 that I have developed that level of forgiveness yet.
I have to say that I believe that Rae most believe that Rae doesn’t deserve the privileges that he’s being given from Ms. Adams. I believe that in my spirit. He’s responsible for her murder and responsible for the dams he done to their child and its even a surprise that he’s being released from jail to see the light of day. In the letter he wrote, even Ms. Adams stated that she can tell that there are parts of him that she can read that are still the same him that she knew so long ago, but still parts of him that she can tell have matured and grown; parts of him she can see may have actually been changed throughout these years of being in prison. He states that’s he’s found God, he’s realized that he needs to take ownership for what he’s done and that he also needs to take responsibility in raising his son; however, one would beg to argue, do you deserve that right after the damage you’ve done to him?
How many of us face situations where we are not mentally, emotionally or spiritually prepared for? I believe this happens on more occasions than we’d like to admit; and we are caught in circumstances where we tend to forgive or make amends with people or compromise in situations where in our spirits we are not particularly ready to. I feel in reading these articles, although Ms. Adams may not have agreed with what Rae did to her daughter, she was ready to forgive him for what he had done, if he had truly done the work within himself to know that what he had done was wrong and he had repented his sins. That is a woman who truly believes in her Word.
Based on further things I’ve read, there is a lot of back and forth about him wanting custody and things of that nature, and I agree wholeheartedly that he should NOT receive custody of his child for many reasons; so I pray that whatever is done is done respectfully and in the best interest of this young man’s safety and well-being because at the end of the day, the focus needs to be on what will be for him and not end up being a fight and mud-slinging contest in the media between his grandparents and his father.
My third shoutout for this month goes to none other than the TGIT queen herself, Shonda Rhimes.
This amazing woman needs no introduction, but I have to stan for a bit on just how awesome I believe she is. There isn’t much that Shonda hasn’t done in this lifetime so far, and it seems like she’s not stopping anytime soon.
Shonda has referred to herself as a “titan”, and given meaning to saying the word “yes” when the opportunity strikes itself. I’ve watched Shonda since 2011 when I began watching Scandal, and I’ve been glued to her work ethic and personality since that moment.
Here are my five favorite facts about Ms. Rhimes:
- She is the writer and executive producer of 3 of my favorite shows of all time (and also about 4 others)
- She owns her own production company, Shondaland, where she has 9 shows that she has been apart of executive producing.
- She wrote a best-selling novel titled Year of Yes! (Again, I have that in my collection)
- She has been nominated and won awards in several different categories, including NAACP awards and an Golden Globe. She’s also been nominated for 3 Emmy’s.
- She has her own TED talk (which you can view here).
I can’t say enough how much I LOVE this woman and how much she’s given to TV and been an inspiration to young women worldwide. From her creative imagination to her titan-like abilities, she is truly what you would call magic in every way.
Photo cred: Google Image Search