Self-Care Sunday: NO!

How many times do you say no to someone when you don’t want to do something?

Are you the person all of your friends and family go to, because of your innate ability to always tell them ‘yes’?

We all inherit this nasty habit, don’t we?  We say yes to things we really don’t want to say yes to; sometimes, even before we can catch our lips to form the word.  We get sucked into commitments and promises we know we don’t want to keep; and why?  Because we are afraid of one simple answer, NO.

The word no really holds so much power, but it’s one of the simplest words to say.  A word that holds so much speculation, judgement and undertone, that it’s almost fearful in some ways.  So fearful, that most times, even my mentality towards it is “I’ll just say yes, because I don’t want to hear the drama that comes with me saying ‘no’.”

Now, I’m not saying that our friends and family are intentionally mean and hateful towards us if we tell them no; and I am not saying that we are saying yes to every single thing because we truly fear telling them no.  There are plenty of things that I understand and am comfortable saying no to.  And my family members are  aware and comfortable with me saying no to them if there is something  I cannot do.   I am speaking from a place where if you are in a situation where you are NOT comfortable in your life with telling  the ones you love or your friends no, and there is hesitation in you telling someone this.  Let me tell you: SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO SAY NO!

Most times, people don’t understand that in order for you to be ok, sometimes you need to  say no.  You need to  take a break from helping others, and take times to help yourself.  It may not always be your first choice, but it may very well be a sacrifice or requirement of you.  And sometimes, when you have to say no, you end up being glad you did.  Saying no can sometimes be a life saver for you, and it shouldn’t be looked at as judgmental.

Everyone on this planet has the equal right to say no to things they don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing, and everyone’s comfort level is different.  For someone like me, I am always in a position that I am willing to give every ounce of myself to someone else before I leave anything for myself.  Because of this, when someone asks me something, I tend to tell them yes every time, even when I possibly should tell them no.

This week, take the time to focus on whether or not you truly should take on as much as people ask of you.  Ask yourself, “should I really say yes to this, or  can I say no?” Give yourself a break and say ‘no’ for once and give yourself a rest.