Living in Unapologetic Intention

When was the last time you did something unapologetically for yourself? I’m not talking about doing something for yourself by happenstance, or because it was an occasion; but just on a random Tuesday, you did something simply for yourself because you’re entitled to do just that?  Or maybe, you just wanted to sit around and do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it; but you knew that somewhere deep down in the corners of your mind, there was a little voice telling you “you shouldn’t be doing that because you have ‘x,y,z’ you need to be doing.”

Why do we as adults make it our intention to make our lives feel so hard?  Why don’t we find more time to do things for ourselves or cut ourselves some slack?

Why do we not take the time to enjoy life’s simplest things?  I ask these questions, and in my opinion, I believe there are three one-word answers to this question:

  • Time
  • Responsibility
  • Priority

I feel like these three things hinder us from enjoying simple pleasures of life.  Time is simply what we tell ourselves what we don’t have enough of.  We plan out everything for everyone else and leave little to no time for ourselves.  We tell ourselves we have a responsibility to our spouses and children, family and friends; but who is responsible for us?  We prioritize others’ needs, wants and emotions over our own constantly, and wonder if anyone does the same for us.

Im not saying that this is done all the time, but I know I am personally guilty of several occasions where I have gone leaps and bounds for my family and friends, and told myself that I don’t matter, or that they are more important when in actuality, my wants and needs are just as important; if not more!

Being intentional about living an unapologetically free life is very difficult, because you have to tell yourself simply that you don’t owe anyone anything, nor do you have to feel sorry for doing for yourself.  Many people call it being selfish, myself included; however, even I have had to get out of the habit of considering it a selfish act.  It is actually more of a necessary act.

You absolutely have to make time for yourself in life or else how else would you be able to be your best self for the ones you love?  How will you learn your likes and dislikes? How else will you learn to love yourself first?  All of these questions are answered simply by being unapologetic about allowing yourself to be your number one priority and being intentional about not being sorry about doing for you.  I’ve made a few posts about a couple of tips that I feel are ways that you can start living an unapologetic life:

Here are a few other things you can do to  start being intentional about treating yourself with just as much importance as you do your loved ones:

  • Carve out time for yourself each day, even if its five minutes.
  • Keep positive and motivating people around you.
  • Meditate, pray, or repeat encouraging words to get you through rough times.
  • Adopt a mantra for your life!

 

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Self-Care Sunday Highlight: Being Selfish

Now I know some may not agree, but I feel that sometimes I feel amazing when I can be a little selfish! 🙂

When is the last time you did something completely selfish?

When was the last time you went out shopping with the intention of buying something for you (no matter how small the purchase)?

When is the last time you had some uninterrupted time to sit around and tell people you just didn’t want to be bothered with their foolishness?

I know it sounds a little selfish and mean….well it’s supposed to; because we all need to have a selfish moment sometimes!

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in being giving and willing to be there for the ones we love that we forget to spoil the most important person; yourself!  How can you be the person you need to be for your family, your spouse, your child; if you’re not giving yourself some much needed self-care and attention??

This week, go spoil yourself, please! Be selfish. Tell someone no. Go buy yourself something nice.  Go turn your phone off and take a nap.  Go on a road trip. Do something completely selfish and don’t feel guilty about it because you deserve it!

Self-Care Sunday Highlight: NO!

How many times do you say no to someone when you don’t want to do something?

Are you the person all of your friends and family go to, because of your innate ability to always tell them ‘yes’?

We all inherit this nasty habit, don’t we?  We say yes to things we really don’t want to say yes to; sometimes, even before we can catch our lips to form the word.  We get sucked into commitments and promises we know we don’t want to keep; and why?  Because we are afraid of one simple answer, NO.

The word no really holds so much power, but it’s one of the simplest words to say.  A word that holds so much speculation, judgement and undertone, that it’s almost fearful in some ways.  So fearful, that most times, even my mentality towards it is “I’ll just say yes, because I don’t want to hear the drama that comes with me saying ‘no’.”

Now, I’m not saying that our friends and family are intentionally mean and hateful towards us if we tell them no; and I am not saying that we are saying yes to every single thing because we truly fear telling them no.  There are plenty of things that I understand and am comfortable saying no to.  And my family members are  aware and comfortable with me saying no to them if there is something  I cannot do.   I am speaking from a place where if you are in a situation where you are NOT comfortable in your life with telling  the ones you love or your friends no, and there is hesitation in you telling someone this.  Let me tell you: SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO SAY NO!

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Most times, people don’t understand that in order for you to be ok, sometimes you need to  say no.  You need to  take a break from helping others, and take times to help yourself.  It may not always be your first choice, but it may very well be a sacrifice or requirement of you.  And sometimes, when you have to say no, you end up being glad you did.  Saying no can sometimes be a life saver for you, and it shouldn’t be looked at as judgmental.

Everyone on this planet has the equal right to say no to things they don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing, and everyone’s comfort level is different.  For someone like me, I am always in a position that I am willing to give every ounce of myself to someone else before I leave anything for myself.  Because of this, when someone asks me something, I tend to tell them yes every time, even when I possibly should tell them no.

This week, take the time to focus on whether or not you truly should take on as much as people ask of you.  Ask yourself, “should I really say yes to this, or  can I say no?” Give yourself a break and say ‘no’ for once and give yourself a rest.