#BlackGirlMagicGoals: Issa Rae

For the month of February, want to showcase each week 1 woman who inspires me and who I admire to be like one day.  These are women I see and watch slaying in their respective arenas everyday, and they are the definition of what #BlackGirlMagic really means!  First up, Issa Rae! 🖤

Ive seen posts where people ask about if they could see themselves in a TV character, who would it be.  I always think long and hard about the answer, but I’d have to say that Issa is definitely me, all the way down to the awkwardness, lol.

When I first found out about her, it was when Insecure was first premiering on HBO.  At first, I didn’t know what I was going to expect from the show, but I just knew I had to watch and see what it was all about.  From season 1, episode 1, I’ve been hooked and Issa has been my spirit animals!   She was possibly the most relatable woman I have seen on TV, because she makes being an awkward Black girl seem really cool after all.  I never thought I could see myself in another person or their fictional character, but I immediately identified with Issa and even some of the situations that went on in her life in her role in Insecure (you wouldn’t believe how many times I screamed at the TV, “OMG that is my life!” when I watch the show).

After watching Insecure, I began to do my googling and found out a little more about the awesome woman they call Issa Rae:

  • She started off on YouTube with her doing a series titled, Awkward Black Girl.
  • She has a NYT best-selling book, titled the Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl (yes I bought it!!)
  • She has been named one of Forbes 30 under 30
  • She was Golden Globe nominated (LIT!)

From the moment she premiered her show, I knew I had to keep watching the show, but her moves also.  I saw that she had a book out so I bought that.  I added her to social media because I wanted to see her process, how she interacted with fans and if she ever dropped any nuggets of encouragement along the way.  Right now, she’s going into season 3 of Insecure and also has about 2 other shows that are being worked on by her that are coming to television.

Issa Rae is the epitome of #GOALS and I aspire to be in her position one day.  She’s been nominated for some of the best awards (Golden Globes, NAACP Awards, etc) and her resume is only beginning to become longer and longer with amazing roles.  She writes, she acts, she even executive produces.  Issa is truly #BlackGirlMagic personified!<<
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Be Careful What You Project on Others 

Have you ever gotten into an argument or disagreement with someone, and found yourself trying to push your feelings or emotions onto another person; and continuously gottten upset when they don’t see things your way?  Or did you want someone to feel the same way you felt about something, so you decide to try and push whatever agenda or feelings that you have about a situation on them so they can feel just as sad at?  If you have felt this way before, then it’s safe to say that you may have been projecting your negative vibes onto other people, and that’s not what’s up, friends.

So, let’s dissect this, shall we?

What does it mean to project anyway? The definition of project is to transfer or attribute one’s own emotion or desire (another person) to, especially unconsciously. Which means, whenever you’re feeling, jealous, angry, sad, upset, insecure, fearful, anxious, etc. you can project these emotions onto others around you, and allow them to feel the same way.

So, I’m sure you’re asking yourself; what would make someone want to project their negativity onto someone else?  I believe its because it feels good to us.  The truth is hurtful and we don’t want to be exposed to any parts of it by ourselves if we don’t have to be; so instead, we decide to push our feelings and insecurities off on people so intensely that they begin to feel as if they are theirs as well.  Before we know it, we have projected some negative vibes into the atmosphere and the reality of the situation is, we are still wallowing in our feelings alone, and all we’ve done is pissed some innocent people off in the process.

As I was digging into this subject, I began to ask myself some questions:

  • Do people find it easier to project their emotions onto others? Does it give them a sense of relief?

I believe for some people, it does.  I think for some, it serves as a defense mechanism.  If they are able to take that feeling and pass it off to someone else, and feel as if that burden is no longer theirs, then they are no longer worried or concerned.

  • Do you consider how you’ve affected someone else emotionally with your negative projections?

I will admit that I have attempted to project my emotions onto someone in the past, and I was called out on it.  There was a discussion about it and the air was clear.  After that, I was able to recognize how I contributed to that, and I do my best to not project on others.  I have learned from my mistakes (because I’m human enough to admit I am not perfect and I have done this before), and I work hard not to do it again, because it is not a good thing to do to anyone.

  • Is it possible to project positive emotions?

The last question was actually one I got listening to a podcast, and it made me think.  I don’t believe there is a way that you can project positive emotions, by definition.  If I am attempting to transfer my emotions onto someone else, I am basically trying to force the way I think, feel and believe onto someone else; which could be possibly setting myself up for disappointment in the long run.  I feel like your intentions may be good; however, the overall intent will still be lost, and in the end, someone will end up on the losing end of it either way.

So, with all this being said; I leave you with this question that I even asked myself:

How can we prevent negatively projecting our emotions on others?

One way I see doing this, is fully accepting our own emotions, and working through them like big girls and big boys should.  There are far too many instances when we project negatively on others, just to deflect what we truly want to feel and process ourselves, and that not only is unfair, but it’s also very toxic to spread that kind of negative energy around to others.  The best thing to do, is to begin to own up to whatever emotions your feeling, and learn how to deal with them as an individual and move on so that you don’t have to allow anyone to be subject to your projections.

#InsecureHBO: The Recap!

Ok, so THANK YOU Issa Rae for making a show that speaks to so many other aspects of my life!

I was able to finally watch Insecure yesterday (because trying to find access to someone’s HBOGO has been a bitch) on YouTube (once again, THANK YOU).  Word to the wise, if you watch it at work, put in some headphones because this show don’t play, lol.

Continue reading “#InsecureHBO: The Recap!”

Naked Truth

A bare face and a pure soul,
I ask nothing more but for you to see me.

I know this is new to you, something that you may not be used to,
but I had a feeling that between all of the good vibes losing time in each other’s eyes, I lied to you.
I didn’t mean to and please believe me when I say it was never my plan to lead you on,
But before you profess to me that you have found your forbidden love let me show you me.

Let me show you the woman who puts on the mask of confidence but cries when no one can hear the pain in her.

Let me introduce you to a woman who hides behind a facade of happiness but is slowly dying inside.

I need you to see me for what I’m worth to you, completely bare with no place to hide the insecurities, so you can tell me if you’re really all in.

Don’t tell me you love me now, and shy away when the shit gets real.

Don’t tell me you’re there for me and you’re not around when I need someone to wipe my tears.

When the depression starts to eat away at my smile, will I still be the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

When you find out I’ve been places and done things, will I still be the woman in your dreams?

Are you really ready to know the shit my heart has been through?

Will you stand beneath the storm clouds with me, when the sunlight is too far gone for see?

Will you accept my truth; when it’s unclothed and exposed for the world to view.

When my true colors show, will you still want what’s left of me?

The parts that don’t shine as brightly as you’d like,

The pieces of me that you thought weren’t used,

The layers of my soul that have been abused?

Will you still love me if I showed you my naked truth?

Take a minute to think about this, because I need to know if you will still be all in.