Lessons vs. Lifetimes: Using Discernment in Meaningful Relationships

We all have encountered many friends, associates and experiences in life, but how do you know whether or not someone was placed in your life to teach you a valuable lesson, or to be there for a lifetime. I believe there is true discernment in allowing yourself to differentiate from the two. A lot of times, we find ourselves (for whatever reasons) holding on and letting go to the wrong people. I experienced this in my life first-hand.

I can remember a time when I allowed someone to stay in my life for longer than they needed to be, and also let someone go in my life that was meant to be in my life for a lifetime. In my opinion, it is important to discern who in your life is there to benefit you for just a period of learning a life lesson about yourself or about the world and the people in it, versus those who have planted a foundation in your life to be there for a lifetime; people who are meaningful, bring value to your life and uplift you in good times and bad.

With age, experience and time, I have been able to evaluate within myself who in my life has taught me a lesson; someone i no longer need, versus someone who has been placed in my life and i know will be there for the rest of my days. Here are a couple of things I have experienced in this area myself.

  • Life Lesson relationships:
    • they teach you things to take with you for the rest of your life;
    • they show you the positives and negatives about yourself,
    • when looking back, you will see the message that those people put into your life, and you are able to identify the very reasoning why they were in your life and what you learned from their impact in your life;
    • when the time is right, those people will drift away from you.
  • Lifetime relationships:
    • plant seeds that are built for longevity,
    • consistent positive influences,
    • able to hold you accountable when you are not holding yourself accountable, add necessary value to your life,
    • have a legitimate meaning to your life,
    • are able to be there consistently when needed,
    • no matter what happens, these people never waver or drift apart from you.

Do you know if you have the right people in your life for a lifetime, or are those people that are only there to teach you a lesson; but you continue to hold on to them, hoping they are built to be in your life for a lifetime? I believe now is a good time to sit down and evaluate the friendships and relationships in your life. Make the necessary determinations as to whether or not the people you have surrounded yourself with are people who are exhibiting qualities of someone you would want to be a lifetime person, or just someone who is here to teach you a lesson about life.

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