Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

With the springtime in full swing, it’s not uncommon for you to get the feeling to want to do.a cleanse of sorts through your life. Some people clean their homes, while others may focus more on their personal lifestyles and determine what needs to be flushed out and what does not. Starting the spring season by getting rid of any toxic of negative relationships is one of the great ways to start the season, and a way to make room for new positive relationships.

If you currently are dealing with someone or several people that do not bring any positive benefits to your life, who constantly bring your mood down, or who don’t mean any good to you or are always negative; it may be time to release them from your life at the inception of this new season.  There is no reason to bring that type energy into your Spring and Summer 2018 if you do not have to.  It may be time to make a clean break from those who are not in your life with the intention to bring you any joy or happiness.  This even includes some of your closest relationships; such as family and significant others.

Oftentimes, we hold on to what we believe are our most important relationships because of their title or their hierarchy in our lives.  In all actuality, even some of the closest people to you may only be meant to last in life for a specific period of time before it is time to cleanse yourself of them.

So, before the spring comes in full force, will you be taking a hard look at your relationships and determining who stays and who goes?


Always Remember Life Gets Better 

I read this affirmation this morning:

“My life is getting better everyday”

So many times we let the negative things get in the way of the simple fact that waking up in the morning gives us the opportunity to do better than we did the day before.  We let yesterday’s struggles flow into the next day and the next and soon our entire week, month or entire year can be tainted by one day of negativity.  If we adapt the mindset that our life gets better daily, imagine what could be possible in our lives….

#50Days50Questions: A Lesson Learned 

What are some important things I have learned in life?

Everyday, I learn something new; whether it be good or bad.  The best thing I can do is take everything in stride and take the experiences as they come to me as they are.  Lessons are just that, and they come into our lives to teach and make us better human beings.  So, here are a few things I have learned thus far in this crazy thing I call, life:

  • You can’t spend your entire life pleasing everyone; you will end up spinning your wheels.
  • Worry about what’s going on in your own life, instead of worrying about others; entertaining foolishness is only a recipe for insanity.
  • When you’re at your worst and your best, you will know who your real family and friends are.
  • Being you is the best person to be in this life.  If people can’t accept you for who you are, they don’t deserve you.

Self-Care Sunday Highlight: Removing Toxic People from Your Life 

When you feel like there is an abundance of negativity weighing you down, sometimes you have to look to the people around you and determine if they are bringing toxic vibes to your life.  If you find that they are, removing them is always the best option.  Sometimes, this may include removing people closest to you (i.e. family and friends), but at times, making that tough decisions to remove those people who are causing negative energy to be present in your life is the best way to move towards more positive self-care and preservation of your sanity.

Removing toxic people from your life can be a big refresher when those people are the primary cause of stress, negativity and an improper imbalance in our personal lives.

This week, if you’re feeling like there are people in your life who are causing some unneeded stress and toxic vibes in your life, do a much needed re-evaluation of the need and value of them in your life and decide if letting them go is the best option to improving your life and mood altogether.

#50Days50Questions: The Present, The Past or The Future…

Do I live in the present moment? Live in the past? Future?

Hmm…..Good question, Lol.

I feel like your past experiences shape and mold you for your present and future, but the key is to not dwell in those past experiences.  I try hard not to dwell; however, I am not perfect, and I do have the tendency to slip into that mindset on occasion.  I bring up previous incidents and it allows me to bring those emotions into my present.  Before I know it, I’m all over the place emotionally.

I am a work-in-progress, so dwelling on past emotions and situations is something that I am learning not to do so frequently; but rather, taking those moments as learning experiences for my present and learning how to apply the lessons learned to everyday life.  By doing that, it helps me not make the same mistake twice, and helps me to remember that I am not forgetting what happened, but also on the pathway towards forgiveness of that situation as well (so I am essentially learning two lessons in one 🙂 ).

Overall, I would the answer to this question is this: I do my best to allow my past experiences to teach me how to live better in the present, and to also teach me how to mold my future.


Be Careful What You Project on Others 

Have you ever gotten into an argument or disagreement with someone, and found yourself trying to push your feelings or emotions onto another person; and continuously gottten upset when they don’t see things your way?  Or did you want someone to feel the same way you felt about something, so you decide to try and push whatever agenda or feelings that you have about a situation on them so they can feel just as sad at?  If you have felt this way before, then it’s safe to say that you may have been projecting your negative vibes onto other people, and that’s not what’s up, friends.

So, let’s dissect this, shall we?

What does it mean to project anyway? The definition of project is to transfer or attribute one’s own emotion or desire (another person) to, especially unconsciously. Which means, whenever you’re feeling, jealous, angry, sad, upset, insecure, fearful, anxious, etc. you can project these emotions onto others around you, and allow them to feel the same way.

So, I’m sure you’re asking yourself; what would make someone want to project their negativity onto someone else?  I believe its because it feels good to us.  The truth is hurtful and we don’t want to be exposed to any parts of it by ourselves if we don’t have to be; so instead, we decide to push our feelings and insecurities off on people so intensely that they begin to feel as if they are theirs as well.  Before we know it, we have projected some negative vibes into the atmosphere and the reality of the situation is, we are still wallowing in our feelings alone, and all we’ve done is pissed some innocent people off in the process.

As I was digging into this subject, I began to ask myself some questions:

  • Do people find it easier to project their emotions onto others? Does it give them a sense of relief?

I believe for some people, it does.  I think for some, it serves as a defense mechanism.  If they are able to take that feeling and pass it off to someone else, and feel as if that burden is no longer theirs, then they are no longer worried or concerned.

  • Do you consider how you’ve affected someone else emotionally with your negative projections?

I will admit that I have attempted to project my emotions onto someone in the past, and I was called out on it.  There was a discussion about it and the air was clear.  After that, I was able to recognize how I contributed to that, and I do my best to not project on others.  I have learned from my mistakes (because I’m human enough to admit I am not perfect and I have done this before), and I work hard not to do it again, because it is not a good thing to do to anyone.

  • Is it possible to project positive emotions?

The last question was actually one I got listening to a podcast, and it made me think.  I don’t believe there is a way that you can project positive emotions, by definition.  If I am attempting to transfer my emotions onto someone else, I am basically trying to force the way I think, feel and believe onto someone else; which could be possibly setting myself up for disappointment in the long run.  I feel like your intentions may be good; however, the overall intent will still be lost, and in the end, someone will end up on the losing end of it either way.

So, with all this being said; I leave you with this question that I even asked myself:

How can we prevent negatively projecting our emotions on others?

One way I see doing this, is fully accepting our own emotions, and working through them like big girls and big boys should.  There are far too many instances when we project negatively on others, just to deflect what we truly want to feel and process ourselves, and that not only is unfair, but it’s also very toxic to spread that kind of negative energy around to others.  The best thing to do, is to begin to own up to whatever emotions your feeling, and learn how to deal with them as an individual and move on so that you don’t have to allow anyone to be subject to your projections.

Self-Care Sunday Highlight: Journaling

Image result for journaling images

With everything that has transpired between 2016 and now, I have taken a more conscious effort into embracing more self-care techniques; just to make sure my mental, physical and overall well-being is protected at all costs (because if I don’t take care of myself, who will?).  I have been wanting to do this for some time now, so I have decided to dedicate a few minutes every Sunday to thinking of different tips to share with you all in regards to self-care, which will also be things that I use on a regular basis as well.

This week I want to highlight journaling; possibly my most favorite method of self-care.  Journaling is simply writing down how you’re feeling; whether it be good, bad or indifferent.  Journaling helps you observe and dissect your emotions, and put them on paper.  It is somewhere you can either ramble on, or write clearly and specifically.  Journaling truly has not right or wrong way; I tend to call mind word vomit, because it literally is everything that needs to come out, and afterwards I’m left feeling much better.

One of the key factors I have learned in journaling is to be an equal opportunist in what you write about.  If you only write about negative things in your journal, then it may begin to have a negative perspective to you (this actually happened to me).   I recently had to change to a new notebook to journal in, because of this exact thing; everything I wrote about was very negative and had little to no positive energy there.  After I changed notebooks, I began to write about the things that also made me feel great, as opposed to only writing about the things that made me sad or angry.  Writing about good things gives you the opportunity to look back on memories and draw from that when needing encouragement or a way to lighten your mood.

You can also have different journals for different purposes.  You can have a journal for your personal life, a journal for your spiritual journey, and even a journal for your creative goals (if any).  There is no rule of thumb for the quantity, quality or content of your journal.  It is yours to use to the best of your ability, and to allow the emotions to flow out of you and onto the page, with the intention to help you move towards a more positive mood.

This week, see if journaling helps with managing your emotions, venting or giving yourself some level of positive praises. Next week, we’ll be highlighting another method of self-care you can use in your everyday life!

-Whit C.