2022? Hello, I’m Nervous to See You.

2022; you have finally arrived. I would say hello, but I’m scared shitless. Let’s just put it on the table.

I want to be optimistic and say “this will be MY year” , “I’m going to WIN this year.” But honestly, I have no idea what’s going to happen; and my optimism has faded as the days pass on since 2020.

I don’t know if I’m going to win. I don’t know if I’m going to lose. There’s not a lot I do know about this upcoming year. All I know is, I just want to feel better than I did the majority of this past year.

I honestly don’t know if this year will be better. I get a little nervous thinking about it. This feeling that I’ve felt the entire year; lingering in the background no matter what situation I was in, has felt awful.

We’re entering the 3rd year of dealing with a global pandemic, that has seemed to take an uptick in the recent month or so. Things feel like we are about to fall right back where we were in 2020. I truly hope it does not because that was the beginning of a spiral of emotional turmoil for me. From my work environment, dealing with lockdowns and being limited in what I could do, some other personal failings that I’d rather not disclose (but if you read this blog, it will give you details). I just don’t want to go back to that; for the sake of my sanity.

I finally have a routine going. My work environment is better, I’m a new homeowner, I’ve gotten a gym/work/life balance that is working. I’ve even considered going back to school. Things feel good; but I’m still so very cautious not to get comfortable. Because history feels like it’s repeating itself. So far, I just want to ease into 2022 with caution, but a light optimism.

So, I hope that now in 2022, we can agree that the world can still have some luxuries without confining the entire world to their homes. We don’t have to take a giant step backwards, but hopefully, we can safely move forward.

I guess, let’s see what the year brings.

*fingers crossed*