As I get older, I try to adapt the mindset that 1) I am not perfect, and 2) I cannot allow people to make me feel like I have to be Superwoman for everyone.
I am a people pleaser. I always have been; and fear that I always will be. I definitely know this about myself, and despite me trying to change it, I don’t think it ever will.
I’m not sure how or why I evolved into someone with this trait, but over the years as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that it’s very difficult to maintain.
I cannot live up to the unspoken expectations of family and loved ones. I wonder what would ever happen if it was revealed that the person you’re expecting to be everything you dreamed of, cannot and will not be that to you or anyone for that matter…
There are times that people just need to not live under the expectation of perfection. No matter what we say, we all have an idea of what “perfect” looks like in every facet of our lives. We want the “perfect” spouse, with “perfect” kids and a “perfect” job; just think about it, even if we don’t say the word, we all have a picture painted of the best possible life. To me, that sounds like personalized perfection.
So what happens when something in that picture is not painted to your exact expectations? Just the thought of it may give some of anxiety and worry. Well, the unfortunate truth is, everything you plead for may not happen, and you have to learn to be ok with that. People and interactions with them, are the most common example of this.
I cannot be everything everyone wants me to be, because if I’m doing that, I am losing myself. If people love and respect you, they should be able to understand that you are a uniquely made person, and you’re not going to fit in anyone else’s mold.
Continue to be yourself. Those who accept you will adapt; those who don’t will fade. At that point you will know who’s willing to withstand true and meaningful relationships with you.