Be Unapologetic AF! *A Public Service Announcement*

Why do we continuously feel the need to be sorry for how we choose to live our lives?

In case no one has told you, you don’t owe anyone in life anything. You don’t owe anyone an explanation on the choices you make in regards to your life. You only owe it to yourself to love yourself, live your fullest life; and you deserve to do it unapologetically.

No one should make choices for you, or judge you for the choices you make. There is no handbook on life, which means that it’s up to any and everyone’s interpretation.

What and how you interpret your life to be, is no one’s decision but your own. Make your mistakes, learn the lessons that are most applicable to your life, and freely choose to be whoever it is you want to be. Do not allow society to restrict you to what they believe is how life should go for you. We are not cookie-cutter human beings. We have different upbringings, cultural differences, family and lifestyle dynamics; how dare society peg us and make us fit into what they believe is “normal.”

Be unapologetic. Unapologetic As Fuck. Do not live your life at the expense of anyone. Pick the road less traveled because it’s what you want. Be your own person and love the shit out of yourself and those around you.

Don’t ask for the approval of anyone, because your life is your own and you deserve to live it freely.

 

Advertisements

Live, Laugh, Love; Repeat

Oftentimes, adults get so caught up with our responsibilities, that we forget one of the simplest things to do; laugh.  If you ask me, laughter is one of the simplest and rarest forms of enjoying life.

I’ve been known to bring laughter into any situation.  It’s just in my nautre.  I am someone who is known to be serious, but also knows that laughter is good for the soul.   Sometimes, in tense moments i like to make the situation better by allowing laughter to come in to the atmosphere.

I try to live life looking for the silver lining. I know sometimes that can be very difficult, but I feel like positivity and smiles can go a long way for some people. Even on my worst days, a good laugh can bring me out of the darkest times in my life. I thank God for the people he placed in my life, because that is one of the qualities I love about them; they make me laugh and thoroughly enjoy my life.

Focus on Living Your Best Life

Most of our lives are spent trying to determine who we are. We strive to live our best lives, no matter what obstacles are put in our way. What we end up running into is the constant battle between what is authentically the life we have been placed on earth to live, or the life we get caught up living; meaning, we tend to live a life where we are chasing after the perception of our peers, instead of accepting what our life is and how our experiences make us unique as a person.

You should ask yourself this question, “Are you living the life you want or the life you perceived was the “right” life?” We all do it; we look at someone else’s life and wonder why we aren’t living the same way someone else is, when we know that it doesn’t work that way. Everyone’s lives weren’t meant to mimic one another, or else there would be no societal diversity.

 

I stand by the quote in the image in the beginning of this post: “you can’t live your life battling the perception of others.” Just because you are at one stage in life, does not make you any better or any worse than anyone else.

Do you compare your life to others and wonder why you’re not in a specific part of life as opposed to someone else?

WHY? Why do we believe that our lives are superior or oftentimes inferior to others, when we don’t truly know the complete story behind someone else’s “good” life. Also, how do you know that someone is not looking at what you see in your life as an inferiority, and thinking to themselves, “I wish I had that in my life.”

I’m guilty of this myself. I look at other people’s lives and wonder what I did wrong to not have what they have, without realizing the blessings that we’re specifically tailored to my life! I’m wasting time not loving and living my best life because I’m moping around about I believe I lack; and that has to stop.

After reflecting on this topic for a few days, I thought of a few things that you can remember as you are beginning a path towards living your best life, and not comparing your stage of life to someone elses:

  1. Stop putting a limit on your goals. A lot of times, we put a deadline on our goals, such as “I want to have ____ by the time I do _____.”  I have always been in the habit of putting myself on a specific deadline; however, I notice that the deadline only puts more pressure on me.  There is no need to put more unnecessary pressure on yourself.  The most effective way I have started to see success in my plans is when I write them down, but I do not pressure myself with a deadline.  I just work diligently and continue to maintain accountability to reaching those goals.
  2. Accepting the path that you were given in life.  Everyone’s life has a different path and your path doesn’t dictate what is wrong or right in your life.  It also does not dictate what should or should not be done in your life.  No two paths are the same in this world and it is up to you to make the most of the path you choose to take.
  3. Perfection is subject to perception. Everyone has the right to perceive their life as “perfect”.  I stand by believing that my life is my own version of perfection, and I am proud of that.  If you have a specific way you define what perfection is for you, and your life fits that, then why would you spend time trying to make your life fit someone else’s version of a perfect life?

Ask yourself this question:

Are you striving to live your life the way it’s been laid out for you? Or are you busy being upset because you’re comparing your life to someone else’s?

If you’re struggling with this, take a step back and take some time to evaluate what is meant for you to live your life the best way you know how.  Keep in mind that no two people are alike, and the world was not made for us to be robotic and live identical lifestyles.  Life is ever-changing and evolving, and what is successful for you may not be successful for someone else; however, that does not mean that neither one of you are not living life to the fullest.

 

Living in Unapologetic Intention

When was the last time you did something unapologetically for yourself? I’m not talking about doing something for yourself by happenstance, or because it was an occasion; but just on a random Tuesday, you did something simply for yourself because you’re entitled to do just that?  Or maybe, you just wanted to sit around and do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it; but you knew that somewhere deep down in the corners of your mind, there was a little voice telling you “you shouldn’t be doing that because you have ‘x,y,z’ you need to be doing.”

Why do we as adults make it our intention to make our lives feel so hard?  Why don’t we find more time to do things for ourselves or cut ourselves some slack?

Why do we not take the time to enjoy life’s simplest things?  I ask these questions, and in my opinion, I believe there are three one-word answers to this question:

  • Time
  • Responsibility
  • Priority

I feel like these three things hinder us from enjoying simple pleasures of life.  Time is simply what we tell ourselves what we don’t have enough of.  We plan out everything for everyone else and leave little to no time for ourselves.  We tell ourselves we have a responsibility to our spouses and children, family and friends; but who is responsible for us?  We prioritize others’ needs, wants and emotions over our own constantly, and wonder if anyone does the same for us.

Im not saying that this is done all the time, but I know I am personally guilty of several occasions where I have gone leaps and bounds for my family and friends, and told myself that I don’t matter, or that they are more important when in actuality, my wants and needs are just as important; if not more!

Being intentional about living an unapologetically free life is very difficult, because you have to tell yourself simply that you don’t owe anyone anything, nor do you have to feel sorry for doing for yourself.  Many people call it being selfish, myself included; however, even I have had to get out of the habit of considering it a selfish act.  It is actually more of a necessary act.

You absolutely have to make time for yourself in life or else how else would you be able to be your best self for the ones you love?  How will you learn your likes and dislikes? How else will you learn to love yourself first?  All of these questions are answered simply by being unapologetic about allowing yourself to be your number one priority and being intentional about not being sorry about doing for you.  I’ve made a few posts about a couple of tips that I feel are ways that you can start living an unapologetic life:

Here are a few other things you can do to  start being intentional about treating yourself with just as much importance as you do your loved ones:

  • Carve out time for yourself each day, even if its five minutes.
  • Keep positive and motivating people around you.
  • Meditate, pray, or repeat encouraging words to get you through rough times.
  • Adopt a mantra for your life!

 

Live Every Moment as if it Were Your Last

If I only had 6 months to live, how would I spend my time?

I'm not going to lie, I actually skipped this question because it was not really something I wanted to write about; but I told myself that I wouldn't skip any questions no matter how difficult they may be or may make me feel.

This is definitely something I don't think about often, and with me being so young it is not a question I would particularly like to dwell on at all; however, it does make you wonder about the concept of life in general.

Although I cannot sit here and pinpoint exactly how much time God will grant me to be on this Earth, I know that I, just like everyone else, only have a specific amount of time.  In that time, we are given the opportunity to make the most of our lives.  We are awarded the chance to live out our absolute best life possible.  With that I will say I would spend my time laughing with family.  I wouldn't spend my time filled with worry, or self-doubt, or angst about trivial things.  I would want to travel, see the world, laugh endlessly with my loved ones and make every moment be better than the last.

Truth be told, that's how we all should live life anyway, right?

A Year Later: Have I lived, or still existed?

About a year ago, I wrote this post titled, Living vs. Existing, (click the link here to check it out), that discussed the difference that it meant to me, and my personal analysis on how I felt my life was going.

This question still remains to be one that I ask myself often, and I take it very seriously.  I went back and read that post today, and realized that I feel like I have changed in the time that I made that post and this one.

2016 is more than halfway through, and I feel that I have made more progress in my life than ever before in regards to my dreams and goals that I have personally and professionally.  I am very proud of myself for actually sticking to the goals I put forth for myself this year (this is a first lol).  I have taken a more serious role in trying to get and stay healthy, which has caused me to embrace myself and love myself more and more each day (as difficult as it is).  I keep my mental health in check (because my job can cause a ton of stress and depression at times, but I’ve found ways to cope).  I have published my first novel, and am constantly researching and learning new ways to grow and become a better writer and blogger.

So far, I must say this is a vast improvement in past year.  This time last year, I was still dreaming and wishing I could find a way to just get up and make my dreams come true.  This year, I feel like I have made a little progress towards actually living the dreams!  Granted, I am not a well known and award winning author, or one of the most popular bloggers on the web; but I feel like I am making waves in the right direction.  One day, I’ll be there.  I still have time to be great!

A year ago, I was existing.  Today, I am finally living. 🙂