As A Black American, I’m Exhausted 

**Just my thoughts as a Black woman in this America**

You may wonder why I don’t say a word about the things I see happening to my people.  You may question my dedication or enthusiasm to the “movement.”

Let me explain to you why I can no longer find the words to say my piece on the matter.

I don’t speak my mind much because I’m exhausted.  I’m exhausted with hashtagging names, young and old.  I’m exhausted with continuing to point out blatant miscarriages in justice.

I’m exhausted with the endless slaps in the face when officers are not brought to justice for the crimes committed when there is clear and convincing evidence to suggest that their outrageous and outlandish acts were not only cruel, but also excessive and egregious towards innocent people.

I’m exhausted with seeing crying mothers and fathers without their children; or babies who have to experience not having their parents in their lives at such a young age.

When the news came out the officer that shot and killed Mr. Philando Castille was acquitted, I couldn’t really form an opinion any longer, because it was no longer in my hands to fight.  Just like other officers who were no held accountable for the blatant things they had done, I just could not find words to speak.

So, I apologize if I’m not outspoken about the topic.  I apologize if I don’t always voice my opinion or let you know how upset or pissed off I may be.  Sometimes I don’t say a lot, and maybe I should be more vocal.  But sometimes, I wonder if I have enough energy to speak about it anymore.

Sometimes, the headlines make me numb.  Sometimes, just seeing another post about an African American man or woman being killed unjustly makes me nauseas to the point where I don’t even want to speak.  To this day, there are still headlines; I still see them come acroos my news feed or timeline.  I hate to admit, but sometimes, I can’t even find the energy to click on them because I can’t read another traumatic story.

Sometimes, I need to scroll past video footage because I don’t want to see it; I don’t enjoy watching death on my timeline or news feed (and yes, more often than not, they get hidden).  All of it is just too sad, but what’s even more disheartening, is a lot of people don’t have a voice for it anymore.  They are just too tired of fighting an battle that doesn’t seem winnable.

I have no words for it, all I can say is it’s exhausting.  One day maybe there will be some justice.  Maybe one day we can rest easier knowing that we will be safer.

Until then, I still sit exhausted, and afraid that the next move I make may be my last.

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If you Didn’t Know Jesse Williams Was Woke, Now you Know.

If you were watching the BET Awards last night, then you know that Jesse Williams was given the 2016 BET Humanitarian Award.  If you watched further, you would have heard this young gentleman render a powerful and thought-provoking speech.  I was listening to him, and I immediately got engrossed in what he was saying; it flowed like spoken word poetry.

Continue reading “If you Didn’t Know Jesse Williams Was Woke, Now you Know.”

Will Things Get Better?

An unarmed Black man gets gunned down by police, because they posed “some type of threat.”  Man or woman ends up dead in police custody in a jail cell.  Everyday I look at social media or the news and another person has been shot and killed.  Everyday, I see a new #JusticeFor… hashtag.  Everyday, a new cause and a new case to fight for equality on.  I will never stop praying for those who have lost their lives in the past couple years, but I feel like there is no end to this insanity.

Continue reading “Will Things Get Better?”

Do Black Lives Matter to Us?

My husband and I were having a discussion about the latest tragedies, where innocent black lives are being taken for no particular reason. I told him how it literally made me sick to think about; to know that yet another man/woman/child is being slain by a white person. I am usually not one to focus solely on the specifics of it just being black on white crime, but lately it’s hard to ignore or spin any other way.

My husband on the other hand, had a different perspective of the situation. I am paraphrasing what he said, but he basically asked this question:

black people are using these opportunities to rally, march and speak out about the racial war between us and white people, but what about the internal race war against ourselves?

That question really made me think long and hard about things. Most times, when I am on Facebook, I see just as much violence between blacks as I do against us. On one hand, I stand firm and will support the hash tag #BlackLivesMatter at every opportunity, but at the same time, when will our race begin to take on that mentality with each other?

Continue reading “Do Black Lives Matter to Us?”

Will Justice Be Served ?

Once again, news broke of a White police officer shooting an unarmed Black male because of “fear for his life”.  In this particular incident, Officer Michael Slager was arrested and charged with the murder of Walter Scott.  Based on video footage that was released, it was evident that Slager made a bad decision, and thus is being punished for that decision.

Continue reading “Will Justice Be Served ?”