Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

With the springtime in full swing, it’s not uncommon for you to get the feeling to want to do.a cleanse of sorts through your life. Some people clean their homes, while others may focus more on their personal lifestyles and determine what needs to be flushed out and what does not. Starting the spring season by getting rid of any toxic of negative relationships is one of the great ways to start the season, and a way to make room for new positive relationships.

If you currently are dealing with someone or several people that do not bring any positive benefits to your life, who constantly bring your mood down, or who don’t mean any good to you or are always negative; it may be time to release them from your life at the inception of this new season.  There is no reason to bring that type energy into your Spring and Summer 2018 if you do not have to.  It may be time to make a clean break from those who are not in your life with the intention to bring you any joy or happiness.  This even includes some of your closest relationships; such as family and significant others.

Oftentimes, we hold on to what we believe are our most important relationships because of their title or their hierarchy in our lives.  In all actuality, even some of the closest people to you may only be meant to last in life for a specific period of time before it is time to cleanse yourself of them.

So, before the spring comes in full force, will you be taking a hard look at your relationships and determining who stays and who goes?

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How to Stay Focused When Your Mind is in Autopilot

Lately, I have been feeling completely out of sync and in a rut creatively and in regards to my productivity.

After some long and much needed self-reflection, I realized that my mind and my body were basically in “autopilot”; meaning I have been merely going through the motions of my day, my routine, my writing, basically everything that I do in my day.  Because I was in a form of  “default mode”, I didn’t really connect with what I was doing and it began to become very overwhelming.

I took a break from writing, editing and blogging last week to give myself some time to spark some new creative ideas and give myself some time away from the pressures of writing and blogging.  It was definitely a much needed moment away from the obligations I have.  Not only did it help me realize what I was going through, but it also helped me recharge my creativity.

When I think more and more about how I’ve been feeling, I also wanted to find out ways that I could combat this “mindless” autopilot feeling whenever it rears its ugly head again.  It’s never fun going through a situation like this, because you find yourself mindlessly living.  You make decisions that may not have the best intentions, you feel stunted and stifled creatively and it can definitely cause a negative effect on your mental and emotional health.

In order for you to be your best self, you have to find ways to keep yourself on point and focused on your daily routine and end the feeling of being mindless and on autopilot.  Here are four ways to keep your mind out of autopilot and staying focused:

  • Set realistic intentions and goals:  When you are setting goals for yourself, you find that you will have something to continue to keep you motivated on a regular basis.  Also, setting intentions (even daily) would also give you a purposeful feeling for your life and your daily routine.
  • Be present: Find ways to be present throughout your day and with stay in tune with people around you.  Doing things to keep your mind on the goals and intentions that you have set, will help you not fall into a trap of mindlessness.
  • Take time to reconnect: There are times when you have to take a little time to yourself if you feel like you are falling into that autopilot mode.  Even a moment as short as five minutes can help snap you out of that blank feeling and get your mind back on track.
  • Do self check-ins: Every now and then you have to take a moment to do a personal audit of your emotions.  Part of holding yourself accountable during moments of autopilot, is knowing when to check-in and make sure you’re not falling to far from your goals.

A Narrative Change in 2018

Hello 2018…
Here we are again at the inception of another year.  Another opportunity to set intentions and goals for ourselves; to start routines that we may or may not commit to our memories by the end of the year.  The beginning of the year is a time that everyone is all too familiar with and we have all had times and can share memories of how we have said goodbye to 2017 in our own way.  Some of us partied, some of us didn’t.  Some of us brought in the new year in church, while some us were home.  No matter what you did, I hope that we were all safe and sound when the clock struck midnight and 1.1.18 was upon us all.
Now that toasts have been made and celebrations have been completed, it’s time to manifest some of our successes and goals for a prosperous year ahead!  I wrote in a post a few weeks ago (that you can read here) about one thing we can all choose to leave in 2017, and I hope that we all didn’t bring that thing into the new year.  I know that insecurity is something I chose and it was something I reflected and meditated in heavily and vowed to try not to bring into my energy in 2018; and I hope to keep that negative vibe at bay in the new year for myself.  I thoroughly believe that the last few weeks has been a trying of my patience and resilience; however, I have managed to make it to this point and I am bound to leave that and a lot more negative things behind in the year 2018.  I have also vowed to agree that if that means a change in lifestyle, career, etc, then so be it; but I have to go into 2018 spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally sound and I intend to leave it just the same way I came into it, and even better as well.
A part of creating a new and better year for yourself, may creating a new and refreshing personal narrative.  A lot of times, we get tired of hearing the same ol’ story about ourselves.  We tend to get bored with who we are need a change.  This is when you may realize that it is time to begin a personal narrative change.
Here’s how you can take a much needed shift on your personal narrative for 2018:
  1. Take a self assessment and see what needs fixing, then ask yourself these questions:
    • Are you happy with where life is taking you right now?
    • If not, what do you see you want to change about it?
    • Do you know the steps are in order to change it?
    • Have you gotten comfortable in life?
    • If money was no object, what would you want out of life? What would your ultimate goals be?
  2. Take charge of your life and how you’re planning on reclaiming it.  Don’t let anyone else tell you how your life should look or feel.  Customize your goals and intentions to fit YOU.
  3. Isolate the things you can control; do NOT let things you cannot control effect your plan.  Your plan needs to only be centered around the things you can control in life.  When your setting goals to changing your narrative, you have to make practical, sensible and measurable steps towards achieving them.  Don’t shoot for the rafters if that’s not attainable for you. “Taking two small steps forward will be better in the long run than taking giant steps forward only to be knocked 5 steps back later.” (Quote this in the post)
By implying a few of these steps, you will be able to take the necessary steps towards changing your 2018 narrative.  If for no one else, do it for yourself, and see if you feel any better about the outcome of your life and how you plan on taking charge of things in the new year!

What Are You Leaving in 2017?

This question continues to surround me, and has been for the past couple of days; “what are you leaving in 2017?”

I believe that we ask ourselves this question every year around this time. As we prepare and plan for a new year, we set our new goals and intentions and manifest new and great things for our lives. During that, we tend to bring up the conversation of those people, places and things that we need to keep behind us as we are moving forward and progressing in our lives.

I too, have asked myself this question and given it deep reflective thought for the last couple of days. I’ve tried to summarize in words what, or who I want to leave in 2017 so that I can have a prosperous and successful 2018.

I’ve decided that can be summarized into one concept: Insecurity.

I’ve been insecure about so many things in my life, and it’s time that those thoughts and feelings get left in the past and not be brought into my present. Whether it be about my appearance, my own creative abilities, or my ability to succeed in various business or professional avenues, I have made a promise to myself that I will leave the concept of being insecure about myself and my life in 2017, and go into 2018 confident in myself, secure in my convictions and my intentions and not allowing anyone or anything stop me from pursuing my goals or dreams.

I ask that you do the same thing for yourselves: think of one thing that you want to leave in 2017, but think of how that thing has affected you in a way that you did not feel it was beneficial; and how you plan on reinventing yourself for the new year and leaving that one thing behind in hopes to manifest great and positive thiings for the new year!

5 Things I’ve Changed to Be Better

I recently listened to a podcast that was discussing change, and how each person has changed for the better throughout their life.  It made me sit back and think of 5 things I’ve worked towards or changed in my life to make myself become a better person.

  1. Pleasing People: I stopped trying to please everyone.  I used to try and do things that made other people happy, when in actuality, it was not making me happy, and sometimes, they really weren’t paying attention to me anyway.  I would do things just to appease a specific person, and serve a specific purpose and that was not the way to live life.  Nowadays, I do things with no intention of pleasing anyone but myself.  I choose to do things that will make me happy and bring me the most positive outcome and that is what I keep my mind on.  It has managed to reduce the amount of pressure and stress I put on myself when I was forcing myself to please others.
  2. Focused on Intentions: I am more focused on setting intentions in my life and following through with them, in my professional and personal life.  I am doing a lot better at setting small specific goals also, instead of always setting my sights on an overall goal right off the bat; and then feeling horrible about myself when I don’t achieve my goal.  Now, when I set smaller more attainable goals,  it helps me to feel more accomplished when I achieve them.
  3. No Bullshit!: I don’t dabble, dwell or deal in the BS anymore.  I’m almost thirty and I don’t have time to be in the midst of any types of BULLSHIT.  I have taken  full advantage of my mute,  unfollow and block buttons on social media, so if you are about all types of foolishness, ignorance, or just plain irritating what last nerves I’ve got left, I just get you out of my sight for a little while.  It’s quite refreshing and I wonder why I didn’t start doing it sooner.
  4. More Active: Yoga is a thing for me now.  So is meditation.  There isn’t much of an explanation for that except that in order to maintain my sanity, I had to find a way to balance,  keep my body flexible and my mind clear, because adulting will make you crazy in case you didn’t know.  Insert yoga and meditation every night.  #NamasteHomies
  5. Choosing my battles: This is definitely not something that makes me the happiest, but it keeps my blood pressure down and my health is more important.  I’m sure we can all identify with one person that we go to battle with on a frequent basis, and we put all  of our energy and effort into winning that fight;  but when you’re finished, you don’t have anything left to give.  Yea, you’re putting too much of yourself into these battles, sis.  Learn to pick your battles.  Lose some of those battles, to win the war.  Or just lose some battles and you may not even go to war.  I’m  finally learning that sometimes, it’s better to concede and just lick your wounds and move on.

 

So these are the 5 things that I have changed about myself so far as I transition into my new decade.  Hopefully I will keep these up and I  won’t lose my mind lol.

Take a moment and think about what 5 things you have changed in your life to better yourself as a person, wife,  mother, friend, sister,  etc?  Did they make you better?