My Free Time is Not Free

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of self-evaluation; an effort in trying to become a better “me”, if you will. I’ve been through some scenarios that have provided the shocking conclusion that my “free time” is never actually “free”.

People spend an unnecessary amount of time trying to figure out what it is they want to do, and then get upset when they do not have the energy and time to do it because they’ve been catering to everything else that does not agree with the concept of free time.

I’m sure there are several occasions when you’ve told yourself you’re going to have a free day, and do things that you truly enjoy, but our productivity mindset is so wired in that we end up doing things that do not align with what our intentions were. Then at the end of it all, you wonder “did I actually even give myself a break?”

I’ve done this far too often; I even did it last night. I intended to do one thing for 5 minutes, and then spend the rest of the time reading. I ended up spending 45 minutes doing work related things, because it would have helped me be more productive the next day. What I really did, is cheated myself out of valuable minutes to myself, doing something I thoroughly enjoy (which is reading a good book).

I guess the million-dollar question for me is: why do we do this to ourselves? Why does society always live in a wave of self-sabotage? The world may never know. What I do know, is that we should begin to take more conscious opportunities to really seize the chance at embracing our free time and not making it about productivity. Life is tough, and you’re allowed to have a few lazy moments here and there. Whenever you have a moment to truly do what you want, or nothing at all; take that chance! You may never know when you’ll get a golden moment like that again.


Took a Small Break, but I’ll be Back Soon

So, if anyone has been paying attention, the blog has definitely been a little DRY lately :(.  I sort of hit a rut and a rough patch for the last couple of weeks in regards to blogging.  Between work, editing my next book, working on some poetry and life; unfortunately, my blog took a smooth back burner position for a while.

I wouldn’t say this was a bad thing; it gave me time to think about new posts, re-evaluate my blog, and I’m even taking some time to look into how to take my passion and love for blogging and expand it farther than I’ve ever dreamed!  I was doing really good, but sometimes, a small break is good for your creativity.

I just wanted to make a small post and let you all know that I hope I haven’t lost any of you, and that I will be taking some time to prep some more posts and come out with some new content very soon!! 🙂

Do You Have Control?

I was recently involved in a situation, where I allowed my emotions to get the best of my better judgement. By allowing that to happen, I made decisions very haphazardly, without truly taking the time to process how i felt, digest it and find a more reasonable response for them. I find that many people do this everyday; they allow their emotions to take full control of situations, and sometimes that is not the best thing.

Do you ever notice yourself losing control of your human emotion? Whenever something happens that triggers something within you, how do you handle it? Do you feel you have total control of your emotional response?

When you take the time to really think about it, how much control do we have over our emotions? Are your emotions based on human control or are they subconsciously inhabited and arise without the ability to control or mitigate them?

I battled with this questions for some time, but after going through an experience where i has the opportunity to allow my emotions to take the reigns, I realized that as adults we sometimes have to learn the art of controlling those knee-jerk emotions, no matter how serious the situation may be. Controlling your emotions allows you to be mindful of decisions, as they can directly effect your relationship with people. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that in my humble opinion I believe that emotions can be brought on as a reactionary response to certain actions; however, we as adults have the maturity and capability to control and manage our emotional behavior. Otherwise, the world would be in a great deal of trouble.

There are so many things that happen in a day. I go through a number of experiences, both good and bad; and if I do not keep a handle on my emotions, things can go haywire. Imagine if you allowed your emotions and feelings to control every decision you made or every reaction to a specific action; how much of your life may you begin to regret based on those decisions you made while you were “in your feelings”? How many times would you have to go back and correct or apologize for your actions or words, during a moment when emotions took over as opposed to a calming, more simpler approach to an issue?

When we allow ourselves the opportunity to be in full control of our emotions, we open up the opportunity to make sound and mindful decisions in regards to our everyday life circumstances. Don’t allow negative of out of control emotions bring you outside of your character; we must always handle situations with control and a positive attitude in order to be great in life.

Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

With the springtime in full swing, it’s not uncommon for you to get the feeling to want to do.a cleanse of sorts through your life. Some people clean their homes, while others may focus more on their personal lifestyles and determine what needs to be flushed out and what does not. Starting the spring season by getting rid of any toxic of negative relationships is one of the great ways to start the season, and a way to make room for new positive relationships.

If you currently are dealing with someone or several people that do not bring any positive benefits to your life, who constantly bring your mood down, or who don’t mean any good to you or are always negative; it may be time to release them from your life at the inception of this new season.  There is no reason to bring that type energy into your Spring and Summer 2018 if you do not have to.  It may be time to make a clean break from those who are not in your life with the intention to bring you any joy or happiness.  This even includes some of your closest relationships; such as family and significant others.

Oftentimes, we hold on to what we believe are our most important relationships because of their title or their hierarchy in our lives.  In all actuality, even some of the closest people to you may only be meant to last in life for a specific period of time before it is time to cleanse yourself of them.

So, before the spring comes in full force, will you be taking a hard look at your relationships and determining who stays and who goes?

How to Stay Focused When Your Mind is in Autopilot

Lately, I have been feeling completely out of sync and in a rut creatively and in regards to my productivity.

After some long and much needed self-reflection, I realized that my mind and my body were basically in “autopilot”; meaning I have been merely going through the motions of my day, my routine, my writing, basically everything that I do in my day.  Because I was in a form of  “default mode”, I didn’t really connect with what I was doing and it began to become very overwhelming.

I took a break from writing, editing and blogging last week to give myself some time to spark some new creative ideas and give myself some time away from the pressures of writing and blogging.  It was definitely a much needed moment away from the obligations I have.  Not only did it help me realize what I was going through, but it also helped me recharge my creativity.

When I think more and more about how I’ve been feeling, I also wanted to find out ways that I could combat this “mindless” autopilot feeling whenever it rears its ugly head again.  It’s never fun going through a situation like this, because you find yourself mindlessly living.  You make decisions that may not have the best intentions, you feel stunted and stifled creatively and it can definitely cause a negative effect on your mental and emotional health.

In order for you to be your best self, you have to find ways to keep yourself on point and focused on your daily routine and end the feeling of being mindless and on autopilot.  Here are four ways to keep your mind out of autopilot and staying focused:

  • Set realistic intentions and goals:  When you are setting goals for yourself, you find that you will have something to continue to keep you motivated on a regular basis.  Also, setting intentions (even daily) would also give you a purposeful feeling for your life and your daily routine.
  • Be present: Find ways to be present throughout your day and with stay in tune with people around you.  Doing things to keep your mind on the goals and intentions that you have set, will help you not fall into a trap of mindlessness.
  • Take time to reconnect: There are times when you have to take a little time to yourself if you feel like you are falling into that autopilot mode.  Even a moment as short as five minutes can help snap you out of that blank feeling and get your mind back on track.
  • Do self check-ins: Every now and then you have to take a moment to do a personal audit of your emotions.  Part of holding yourself accountable during moments of autopilot, is knowing when to check-in and make sure you’re not falling to far from your goals.

Self-Care Sunday: Let the Tears Flow

Sometimes our best self-care comes from emotional releases. Most times, emotional release comes from a specific issue or incident, but other times, release can be just because it needs to happen.  You may be having a mediocre day at work, going through issues at home, and even though those things may not tip you over the edge, that amount of frustrating space and negativity may cause you to want to shed a few tears just to release that negative energy.  I have personal experience from allowing myself the opportunity to cry as a method of self-care, as a means of emotionally releasing any negativity, tension, anxiety or anger that has been pent up inside me and it has been very beneficial in my self- care.

Sometimes, I do have to draw on experiences that have been a little emotionally jarring or possibly something that has happened that I told myself that I wouldn’t go back to in my life; however, the only way I know to sometimes to fully heal from those issues is to allow myself that opportunity of vulnerability, and then I can truly move on from it.

I am not saying that we all have to cry to let out our emotions; we can yell, grunt, throw things (in a safe environment), etc.  I have never been against physically releasing your emotions as long as it is in a controlled atmosphere and does not harm anyone.  Sometimes, emotional releases need to happen.  I have been known to most commonly release in the form of tears, and it has always been the most refreshing for me.  Having a moment to cry for a limitless amount of time has sometimes been one of the most therapeutic moments for me.  It feels like all of the negative energy and pain that you are experiencing is leaving your body in the form of the tears you cry.

For this week of self-care, I encourage anyone who is going through something in their lives, to find a way to release it.  If it is in the form of crying, do not be ashamed of crying.  Sometimes crying can be a reformation of a new self.  It can be the way to close an old chapter, and open a new one.  Allow yourself the ability to release the emotions that you do not want tied up within your body and enveloping your energy space, and you will find that even crying may not always equate to sadness, but sometimes mean release and rebirth.


The Wakanda Wave

So by now, I would hope that everyone has had the opportunity to see Black Panther, and if not, I suggest you buy a ticket, put on your best garments and head to the theatre to get you a good dose of Wakanda’s best.

I had the pleasure of seeing Black Panther on opening weekend and was pleased with the movie.  So pleased that I do intend on seeing it for a second time (the question is when; because life).  From the visuals, the acting, and the overall mood itself, it is definitely worth the time seeing and the experience at least once.

First, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the accolades that the movie has managed to achieve in the past weeks since it has been in theaters.  Black Panther has made somewhere in the ballpark 704 dollars (as of 3/2 and is steadily rising), after it’s worldwide premier on February 16, 2018.  The movie has broken records and vastly exceeded expectations beyond anyone’s dreams and realties have been put in place that this movie was not only needed, but also well-deserved amongst the African American communities that came out in droves to show their support.

There’s no doubt in my mind that Black Panther has done wonders for the culture.  Children are now seeing that more and more children are now seeing how important it is to see a superhero on the big screen that looks like them and live in a communitg. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t look on the internet and see a reference to Black Panther in some way. Shoot, even I changed my Twitter name to my favorite character in the movie (Shuri 🙂 ). This movie definitely gave people something more than some other movies did, just like movies such as Hidden Figures did; it gave us people to look at and be in awe of. Black Panther gave us a type of culture to see and even an opportunity gather bits and pieces of African history and experience on the way. You were able to see several different concepts and cultures that were depicted from real customs and traditions from Africa (i.e. the Dora Milaje, the lip plate, Killmongers mask, the languages, the clothing, etc.).

From the Killmonger fan art, to the M’bakuChallenge on Twitter, the world is all about Black Panther right now, and possibly will be for a while.  Black women are advocating and demanding that our Disney Princess conversations include the leader of the Dora Milaje and the technological genius of Wakanda.


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