Good Friends or Bad Friends; Which One are You?

So, im still on my #50Days50Questions journey, and I came across a question that I felt compelled to discuss, since it has become somewhat of a hot topic in my life currently. Here is the question.

Am I a good friend? How so or not so?

I could be lying to myself; however, I feel like I am a very good friend. I feel this way mainly because being a good friend is something I take pride in. I am by no means perfect, and I’ve made some of the worst mistakes in some of the most important friendships; however, I’ve been blessed enough to continue to have them and I’ve learned valuable lessons from them. I learn so much from each person I call a friend, and I do my very best to treat them as they deserve to be treated.

Throughout my life, I’ve made many connections with people; some have been for the short-term, and others have been for the long haul. Most of the people I consider good friends I believe have the mutual feeling about me as well (at least I hope so lol). First, I’ll tell you what I feel constitutes a good friend:

  1. Honesty: I feel like this is a no-brainer. I mean, if you can’t be honest with someone, why be their friend? I’d much rather you be truthful and honest with me, than to lead me on in thinking one thing when it turns out to be another.
  2. Genuine concern: I believe another good trait to have in the “good friend” column is to always have genuine concern for those you call friends. I know sometimes I can seem a little annoying, but I love checking in on my loved ones and friends, especially when I know they aren’t going 100%. It’s partially a way that I show I’m there for them if they need me. I’m always down like four flats!
  3. A big heart: Having a big heart is also a sign of a great friend in my book; and it also is a sign of someone I know will have my back no matter what. I know a few people who may have the biggest hearts in the world; luckily, I’m glad to call them my best friends ❤️.

Now, with every positive aspect of life comes negativity in some regard; and there will always be disadvantages to being such a good friend to people and being perceived as such. I recently encountered a situation personally, that made a couple people tell me that I was being too good of a friend, based on how I was being treated; and that happens sometimes. It definitely made me reflect on how much I give to the ones I love and those who I consider some of my best friends.  I know I can give my hearts to them because in a reverse situation, they would do the same for me; and that’s something that’s important to me.  But, it also made me question if I was in fact TOO giving to those who I felt I was being a great friend to, who weren’t turning out to be so great to me..that was definitely a food for thought situation for me.

That situation taught me a valuable  lesson.  I had to finally tell myself that sometimes I do try to be a good friend to those who are not as good  to me, and sometimes those are  the people who don’t deserve some of the special treatment.  I’m not saying you have to be a complete bitch; however, you also  don’t have  to go completely out of your  way for someone  who is not showing their  appreciation, or not even acknowledging you in the first place.

I say all this to say  that I do feel like I am a good friend, but also I urge all of you who take the time to read this to look within yourselves to ask yourself  if YOU feel you are a good friend and if so, ask yourself the following:

  • What makes you a good friend?
  • If you answer no,  what can you do to become a better friend to your friends in question?
  • If you answer yes, do you feel you are being taken advantage of  as a good friend, and if so, how do you plan on addressing that with that person who’s  taking advantage of you; and could it be  time to re-evaluate that friendship?