“You cannot judge people because they sin differently than you”

-Erykah Badu


#WhitWritesHerNovel: Taking the Time to FOCUS.

I have so many high expectations for this novel, even though it is my first one.  I want so much to come out of this experience, that if I only sell one copy (possibly to my mother, lol) I will be happy.  Hell, if I only print one copy and put it on my bookshelf for myself, I’ll be happy.  I want to be able to say that I accomplished that one thing in life.  I pray hard about this all the time, for this to be a great experience for me.  For me to build a fan base, for people to say “Hey, you wrote………” and I say “Yes, I did! :)”  Lol….yea, that’s my dream.  Call it whatever you want, but everyone has that one thing they want to accomplish out of life.  I hope this is the one thing for me. 🙂

I must say I am having an awesome time charting these scenes out.  It has sparked so many more ideas.  I am so glad that I didn’t go with my first rewrite and sat down and talked to some people and realized that I could make this so much better if I just sit down and really dissect each part of the book.  I did a full analysis of where my book was at that point and realized, it wasn’t what I wanted it to be.  Now that I am going back and charting the scenes and really getting into it, I have seen it in a totally different light.  I have a few more scenes to go before I go back and read through all my scenes, edit and add where necessary.  Then and only then will I go back and do an edit and rewrite.  I am hoping that by the beginning of the summer, I will be ready for a few test readers.  Can’t wait for the next step in this process!


One word…

One word that seems so simple

one word where feelings are created in the soul

and manipulate their way to the mental

4 letters, with a complex combination and sequence

I say complex because most people see to think this word is one of the most difficult words to say


If we use words to express our abstract emotions

why is this one word so hard to use?


We use “sad” when we want to cry

Or “pissed” when anger lines approach our foreheads

But when that one person comes along

And steals the very breath you take

Just to exhale their emotions into your environment for you to inhale

Or, touch you in a way that makes your heart convulse and your skin clam up

Because that person gives you a nervous sweat you just can’t shake

Or when that person looks in your eyes


Really looks in your eyes

And you connect with them on a level so deep that when they see the inner working of your soul you close your eyes abruptly b/c that feeling you felt is unfamiliar

Those feelings have the word “love” attached


When you’re so scared of letting “love” fully enter your being

That word seems taboo

Like you’re too good to feel something for another so genuine and authentic

So instead of acting on what’s real/

We go out and attach this word to the feelings that are only temporary

You said you love him cuz you “couldn’t hurt his feelings”

Or you said you loved her cuz it “felt so good”

Now you see?

Now that you’ve abused the word on superficial feelings

When the real thing come along, cat’s got your tongue and now the word is stuck

You see

If you would have been wise in the context of your word choice

You would have been ready to use “love” to describe those feelings that are blessings from God

In the form of what you would now name your soul mate

But now, your meaning of love is skewed and what you need to use it for…….

You wont…….

Words Never Spoken

Everyday I have the same routine. I wake up and make tea and sit near my kitchen window at precisely 6am.

Why? Because I know that at approximately 6:05am, u will be walking by my window as you do every morning.

We exchange glances, bashful stares and petite smiles.

Time stops as our paths cross for that 5 second window. And in that moment, for 5 seconds, we are connected in every fathomable way.

Your eyes light up and tell me how much u care for me. How much your day rests upon seeing me. In our spot.

The twitch in your bottom lip tells me that you have longed for my kiss for far too long, and awaiting the day that we ignite the fire that is that passionate first kiss.

The way I look away from you tells you that your presence makes me nervous, your mesmerizing stare makes me melt.

I circle the rim of my coffee mug, fantasizing that we are laying in bed together, while I circle the outline of your chest hair as you whisper to me how much u desire my mind, body and spirit.

I glance up and you smile at me. The brightest spot amongst the morning haze. I return the gesture, admiring your face and longing for your passion.

All of this, between 6:05:00 and 6:05:05………

And as our 5 second romance expires, I return to my reality. Sitting at my window, now watching your back as you return to your reality as well.

I wonder if there will be a day, a time or a place, when we will finally have the opportunity to express the words never spoken.

So, You’re Boyfriend is your Husband, huh?


So, I saw an article on my Facebook that I shared, because I just couldn’t believe what I read, that described a woman who was not getting any attention from her husband.  So, she listened to one of her friends, and made new social network pages, got a new phone and basically got her husband to become friends with her.  Well, long story short, she has been having a relationship with her husband for like 6 months, which basically means he is cheating on her!

Her marriage is slowly getting worse, because the more attention she is getting as his girlfriend, the less she is receiving as his wife.  So she asks the question of should she tell her husband that it’s really her that he’s in a relationship with.

I couldn’t help but ask myself “what the hell?” to this post.  I mean, if she really thought about it, if she put just as much effort into putting that same kind of attention into fixing her marriage, she wouldn’t have had to set up her husband.  I mean, all the naked pics you were sending him as a girlfriend, you could have easily been using those pics to bring the spice back into your sex life in your marriage. Now, I am not letting the husband off the hook completely, because I don’t condone cheating for any reason. He is just as wrong for taking the bait in the first place.  Not to mention, I argue that as long as they have been married, he should know what his wife’s body parts look like (this could also show just how out of tune physically they are).  All in all, it looks like they really need to sit down and get their marriage back on track. I definitely see it ending badly for her if this continues.

Hopefully, things end well for her if she tells her husband what’s going on. I am not too confident, though.

Check the full story out here and leave your comment on what she should do!

PSA: Being a Side Chick is NOT OK!

This is a post I wrote on a previous blog last year that I wanted to share with you all.  Check out my other blog profile http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/wit-nee for more posts!!

I have to ask this question….because throughout the last  2 years just about, I have been utterly perplexed at this “craze” amongst women….

What exactly are the benefits of being someone’s side chick? I have heard many reasons such as the thrill of no strings, the lack of commitment to a  particular role, getting an abundance of gifts for no particular reason at all.  Quite frankly, I feel it is a horrible role to play as a woman, and I don’t understand the joy a woman gets out of being a side chick for a man.   Continue reading “PSA: Being a Side Chick is NOT OK!”